Monthly Archives: October 2015

How to Tune Into Your Inner Knowing

It can be difficult to trust ourselves. In any given moment there are a myriad of decisions to be made and people pulling us in different directions. Within this environment, we can easily become anxious or overwhelmed.

On an energetic level, once we shift into this state of confusion/lack of clarity, we have a tendency to move into our upper chakras. What this means is that our energy body begins to pull upwards. This leaves us feeling ungrounded and “out of body” even though physically our bodies continue to move us through life. The more we continue to operate from our upper energy body, though, the more disconnected we become. Our anxiety may become more acute, our sense of overwhelm can increase and we may even begin to experience physical symptoms of distress as our bodies call out for our attention.

At this point, it can become difficult to trust our decisions and/or know which direction feels right to us. When our mind is running the show, we are given lots of facts, figures, shoulds and coulds, but these may only add to our confusion. And when the body feels that something is off, it will send you signals in an attempt to grab your attention away from your mind. It wants you to reconnect with it; it wants to help you make a more fully informed decision.

The mind is a beautiful thing. If we aren’t careful, though, our mental activity can get off kilter. It’s very helpful to find a way to allow our mental body/energy to find balance and create harmony with the emotional/feeling body.

Here is a tool that I teach a lot of my clients and that has proven helpful to them as well as to myself. I’d love to give credit for it where credit is due, though I can’t fully do that in this case. This came through one of my client’s guides many moons ago. With gratitude to that spirit that shared this with us, I pass it along to you.

1)     Take a moment to get settled and quiet in a chair or lying down on your back with your stomach, solar plexus and heart centers open.

2)     Turn your attention to your breath. On your in-breath, feel your belly rise and expand. Let your breath begin in your stomach and then rise through your diaphragm and then lungs.

3)     Allow your out-breath to be at least as long as your in-breath and feel your tummy fall as you release and let go.

4)     Do about 10 rounds of this breathing.

5)     Next, turn your attention to your body. This type of breathing connects you back into your core and will help you to feel more embodied immediately. (This is great to do anytime you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed.)

6)     Start at your toes and move your way up, just noticing and feeling your body. If any judgments arise, gently release them and return to the breath and the scan.

7)     When you feel calm and centered, ask your body to show you what “yes” feels like. This may come as a sense of expansion, a smile, an opening of the heart or in another way that feels good to you. If it doesn’t come immediately, that is okay. Just breathe and stay centered. You may need to give it a few minutes or try again at a later time. For many of us, being fully embodied is a new experience and we may need to have space to explore it further before understanding it fully.

8)     After you have your affirmative response, ask your body to show you “no.” My body shows me this by constricting in the heart center. Some feel it in their belly or head. Any of the responses can shift and change as well, though the quality of them will tend to remain the same.

9)     You can also ask your body to show you a neutral response, as oftentimes that is the case as in a situation like this: “How would an apple for a snack be for me?” If you have no sensitivities to an apple, it may show up in a neutral, if-you-want-it sort of way.

10)  When you are finished, turn back into your breath and send thoughts of gratitude to your body for supporting you.

11)  If you use essential oils ( I recommend only high quality oils such as Young Living – follow recommendations), the following oils can be highly supportive in this process:

a.     Fennel helps the Self reconnect with the body and to pick up the subtle messages from it, allowing us to find our inner sense of integrity and align with it.

b.     Ginger assists in developing a deep and authentic sense of empowerment that creates an almost warrior like commitment to living in personal integrity.

c.      Patchouli supports us in becoming fully present in the physical body and to find new appreciation and a sense of empowerment from it.

This exercise can be used for just about any question from the one above to the really big ones. As we practice it, it will become almost automatic and you begin to feel more empowered and aligned in the decisions that we make. And remember: We can use that breathing method to help support and calm us at any time and any place. And it’s especially great before bed, along with a little Lavender oil!


Meditating on this mandala may also help you to connect to your inner alignment!


Exactly Where I Am Supposed to Be

The other day during a session, this message came through for my client: Wherever your feet are is exactly where you are supposed to be. A few hours later, another client’s guides were like, “Tell her about that message!” Spirit often sends me messages through my clients and this was one of those instances. It’s been in the forefront of my thoughts ever since.

There’s a lot of wisdom in the simple reminder to be wherever my feet are. I often forget to just stay present to what is happening to me in each moment. It’s pretty easy to find a way to distract myself and when the opportunity arises, I can be off and running in seconds. Mostly this is with respect to where my mind goes. There’s the little bit of me that can still get wrapped up in rewinding the past or in worry about the still undisclosed future. At other times, it can be a flurry of activity that is taking up space so that I don’t have to think about what is happening within me.

I remind myself on a continual basis to come back to the moment, to return to my feet. I stop throughout the days to breathe and get back in my body and have gotten pretty good at hitting my reset button. And yet…The button is still pretty active.

One of the things that came up for me as I’ve been contemplating this is the question of how to hold space for the future and my vision without getting caught up in it. How can I move toward my vision while still being grounded into the earth beneath my feet?

It wasn’t really an epiphany that came upon me, but it was an integration of information that finally occurred deeply within me – one that I’m allowing to settle into my cells more fully. The future is a collection of hundreds, thousands, even millions of steps, and each step is a choice. I create a fully present and embodied step or I create my future through a checked-out and absent-minded step. Either way, I am creating my future. And when I choose to be present to each moment, I get to show up in an authentic and self-actualized way. That doesn’t mean that some of my choices won’t be mistakes or that they will turn out differently than I had hoped. It also doesn’t mean that I won’t lose myself in Facebook or obsessive reading. It does mean, though, that when that happens, I’m fully present and aware of what needs to be shifted, tended, and/or nurtured. I look at my feet and tune into my now.

I get to hold my vision, while also being aware of what is working as I move along the path of getting there and what needs to be eradicated or changed. I get to feel full alignment with my higher self in a step-by-step dance with her throughout this journey. I get to celebrate. I get to scream and cry.  I get to make love and I get to struggle to find my words when things get tough. Being present to all of that allows me to experience all the sign-posts along the path and to really understand how it is all unfolding so that I can take my steps with intention and so that I can truly feel my steps as they move me towards my ever-evolving vision.

Nourishment from the Inside Out

These days, I tend to get really caught up in my life. Things will get good and then I’m off and running with work and errands and family time and friends, and pretty soon I will notice that I’m running on empty and that all of the stuff I’ve been up to and doing, while great, has become a distraction from ME and I will begin to feel distanced and detached from myself.

In the past, when things were hard – when my relationship was suffering or finances were tight or there was something going on inside of me that I wasn’t ready to look at, I had a tendency to check out. Sometimes I did that through work, sometimes through reading, a lot of the time with alcohol or cigarettes. While during these periods I had the time to nourish myself, I would unconsciously (yet intentionally) deny myself. Taking care of me was the last thing on my mind.

Both scenarios, whether “good” or “bad” create situations in which I put my own welfare on the back burner. In both cases, I forget the importance of self-care and nurturance. I forget that if I’m not taking care of myself, there will be a ripple effect of discord through every aspect of my life.

For a long time I just didn’t believe that I deserved to nourish myself. I didn’t believe that I was enough, that I mattered. And because I didn’t matter, I made very little investment in my personal wellbeing. I might look for things outside of myself to fill the void – purchases, brownies, alcohol – but I did very little to authentically nourish or nurture myself.

At some point, I realized that I had to shift the focus. I was so accustomed to living my life outside of me – focusing on others and problems and things – that my insides were like a vacuum. I didn’t know who I was or how I was. I kept looking to others and to things to define me for me, to show me who I was and what I liked and how to present myself to the world.

It wasn’t until I started to take time for me in my life that I was able to shift this (along with a lot of healing work to begin to understand my intrinsic value and enough-ness). I had to show myself that I mattered enough to fill myself up from the inside out rather than making yet another futile attempt to do so from the outside in.

Nourishment comes in many forms. I noticed that I didn’t take much time with my food – I either ignored it or quickly ingested it, often while standing or engaging in some other activity. It felt like an obligation to eat rather than an act of self-love. I wouldn’t find time or money for things that I loved to do, thereby effectively depriving myself of the opportunity to do something that felt good for me, while simultaneously reinforcing a “woe is me” mentality.

I had to slow down. I had to take stock. I needed to make space for me. I had to force myself to do it at first and I had to commit to doing the healing work that went along with it. I had to pinpoint the “whys” around my reticence to care for myself and I had to look at a lot of my past and release and express a lot of emotions. I had to show myself that I cared enough to heal.

And then I had to do things that authentically felt good to and for me. I began to buy myself flowers every week because it was an expression of self-love. I slowed down (mostly) with my meals, I took more time for baths, I made my bed every day and I went to the park and lay on the grass with no other agenda than to fuel my energy body.

On the other side of the spectrum, I questioned my habits. I asked myself why I wanted to buy something, eat something or add yet another activity to my day. I got to the core of my emotional state and asked myself what the hell was really going on. And I listened for the answer and then (mostly, if I’m completely honest) respected it. I stopped being so hard on myself and instead of judging my emotions (that was a big one!), I asked myself what I needed to do to honor them.

This was by no means an easy task, but it was a simple one. It required diligence and patience and self-compassion along with a lot of personal commitment. But once I started and got through the initial discomfort, it felt good. It actually felt really great to help myself feel good. I began to cultivate the seeds of self-love, and as I nurtured them, they grew and they grew and they grew. And they are still growing today.

Image credit: Holly Sierra

Image credit: Holly Sierra

Why Be Embodied?

From the time we are come into this world, we are shown how to mistrust our emotions and our experience of our bodies and the environment in which we find them. We are shushed and told not to cry, told to hide our emotions, taught to present a façade to the world that is not an accurate expression of what we are truly experiencing on the inside.

Even if we’ve never experienced trauma, per se, we’ve been modeled that our bodies/emotions/feelings aren’t trustworthy and so we begin to disassociate in ways that help us to be different or more “acceptable” to others. For those of us that have known trauma, the results are often far more extreme and we may spend the majority of our time numbed out to ourselves and our lives.

If we truly want to heal, we must begin the process of embodying our vessels, of feeling all the emotions, of connecting the dots and dredging up all that we stuffed away so very long ago. While it is a difficult process, it is ultimately rewarding.

I shared on News for the Soul on the importance of embodiment; not only why we need to remember this whole-istic manifestation of ourselves, but also how we can move towards it once again.

Follow the link to hear the show!

Love and blessings!