I’ve pulled a lid off of a healing pot. The recent healing I received with John of God and his spiritual posse of guides combined with a complete revamp of my food intake (taking everything that is or converts to sugar out of my diet while I integrate this spiritual healing) has split me wide open. The release of a relationship revealed even more. Years of pulling back the sheaths, one by one, are now yielding veins of gold underneath that are ready to be mined.
This healing thing never ends and for that I am grateful.
I asked to feel closer to Spirit through my John of God healing and that intention is bringing me closer to myself, opening me to receiving an embrace from myself that I have been longing for my entire life yet didn’t even know I was missing. It took years of healing to get to this precise expression of me, the version of myself that is ready and able to open to even more. I feel certain that there will be many more moments like this in my future, if only I continue to allow for them.
This most recent revelation, sprung forth during meditation, shook me to my core, and tears spilled out of me in heaving sobs. I had spent years afraid of this moment, fearful of opening the curtains that had been obscuring the shame, anxious that it would sweep me away. But the beauty was that as my body shook and the tears released, I was able to see myself more clearly than ever before. I was able to understand myself with a deep sense of compassion for the brave young woman that I was almost 30 years ago. For years I mistook her actions for weakness and so while I have taken apart and dealt with my rape on my levels, there are pieces of it that have remained tucked away. Now, by being even more present to my process, I get to see them through the lens of courage. What a gift to myself!
I have discovered through my personal and professional healing work that no trauma is one-dimensional. There are nooks and crannies, nuances waiting to be surfaced and explored. Each insight brings another wisp of freedom, continually contributing to a fuller understanding of self and a stronger foundation upon which we can stand. When we continue the journey, ever deepening our understanding of self, we open ourselves to a more intentional and loving experience of co-creation.