Monthly Archives: January 2016

8 Musings on Being a Badass

I did something super badass the other day.

The thing is, though ~ I almost didn’t do it.

I was given the task ~ along with about 20 other women ~ of breaking a pine board in half with just our hands. We wrote the limiting belief that is holding us back from creating more success in our lives on the side we were to break through and on the other side we marked down what we truly desire.

I felt pretty calm about the whole thing and wasn’t worried about whether or not I could do it until we actually got down to doing it. I watched my mentor, Monica Shah, lead and then a few others follow. Witnessing so many powerful women really focus and bust through the boards was inspiring. It was joyous. Their exhilaration was palpable.

It was also intimidating. I had started to worry about whether or not I could do it. I have a weak wrist from years of injuries and bartending, and I began to worry about hurting it. When it was my turn, I stepped up and I lined myself up and I struck at it.

Nothing happened.

I hit it again and then again. Still nothing and my wrist hurt from the repeated force against the board.

I stepped back, unsure of what to do. My injury was the result of not listening to my body when I was younger. For years, I had ignored its cues and pushed through pain, both emotional and physical. Even with years of healing, I’m still unraveling some of the repercussions from that.

I also knew that there was something that I was missing. I was aware that it wasn’t about force and that my apprehension was getting in my way.

I was stuck.

That was when this beautiful community of women reached out and lifted me up. My soul sister, Elicia, suggested I try with my other hand and encouraged me to play with a different mindset. She saw into my heart ~ as she does ~ and sensed that I needed an out-of-the-box solution. Another dear friend and colleague (and exceptional body worker), Susan, assured me that she could correct anything in my wrist that needed support. More girlfriends rallied and Big Bob, the man who facilitates this work, was called to assist.

He showed me what I had been missing. I was lacking force from my lower body, trying to push through with my hand, without accessing the simultaneous strength and thrust of my legs to facilitate the process.

I tried again and still I missed. By now, all eyes were on me.

Oh the beautiful and divine irony of it all! The limitation I was breaking through had to do with success and fear of failure with eyes upon me.

But Bob encouraged and inspired me, and the women around me cheered me on.

Then, as if it were nothing, I knocked that damn board and belief right in half.

I was greeted with hugs and I cried and I felt so so so supported. My wrist hurt less when I allowed myself to surrender and move through the belief. Susan worked some magic on it and it actually feels better than it did prior to the board breaking. (Imagine that!) Another Lady Love, Ina ~ channeler extraordinaire of The Alchemists, captured this great shot of my personal victory.


When I was young, I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t think I could master. I’ve spent years healing that sense of not-enoughness. It still rears its head at times and I thank god that when it does these days, I have people in my life that will support me and show me my potential.

I have opened myself up and allowed myself to be vulnerable ~ real honest-to-goddess, authentic vulnerability ~ in a way that has come full circle so many times.

When I show my heart, others hold it up for me to see.

What a treasure.


Y’all, something really good is happening over here.

Those of you who read my words on a regular basis know that I set huge intentions last year around opening my heart up.

I peered into lots of darkness to find the light in the cracks so that I could split them wide open.

And now a sweet, soul-pounding revolution is taking place within this little frame that has opened me up to so much goodness that I’m just overflowing with it.

It was so so so scary to open myself up like I did, but it was like a compulsion that needed to be uncorked. I knew that if I was to do the work that I came here to do, I would have to be completely honest – not just with you, but most importantly – with myself.

That meant that I had to go even deeper.

I had to question my motives and my desires.

When something hurt or I was triggered, I explored it to its depths.

I went within; I went without. I found support when I needed it and trusted myself when it was up to me to find the answers.

I upturned blocks and peeked around the corners of my being. If I saw something that wanted attention, I addressed it.

There were times when I put it off and there were times when I ran in the other direction. But with every twist and turn I gently and lovingly pulled myself back to me.

And because I was persistent and because I was tenacious it has happened.

I wasn’t sure what “it” was when I embarked on this stage of my growth, but I knew I wanted whatever “it” was.

What I’ve discovered is that this “it” is a treasure that we all already hold within. It’s held within the core of our essence and it lives and breathes in our heart space and when we take all of the boards and walls and everything else we’ve shrouded it in down, the most amazing magic is sparked.

This magic sings out to all those who can hear it and when they tune into the melody…Well, you know, it may sound cliché, but a symphony is formed.

This music is manifesting in all areas of my life right now. Even as I write these words, the tears of resonance and joy jump from my eyes. It is showing up in my business, and I’m teaming up with the most wonderful people to bring some really great programs and retreats to life (for the one I’m planning with Elicia Miller, click here – it can put you well on this path too); it is manifesting in my personal life (juicy details will have to wait until later, but MAN, this feels electrifying); it is reverberating through my friendships, and I feel even closer to those I love.

This is why we do this.

This is exciting and alive and powerful and vibrant. Even when it hurts, and even when it is hard, it is transformative and empowering.

I LOVE YOU ALL. Thank you.

To Love Fiercely and Loudly

My dog loves fiercely and loudly. In fact, the more she loves you, the louder she will express it. When she sees someone she loves, she immediately goes into vocal overdrive.

She’s a 70-pound retriever/coon hound mix, so…you can imagine what that can sound like.

Historically I’ve struggled with her fierce, loud love.

I’ve felt like I needed to subdue it, calm it, quiet it. I’ve often wished it would go away. It’s always felt hard to manage.

Take today at the park across from my house as an example:

First she saw my friend, Laura, who she loves. Then she saw my friend, Annie, who she really loves too. By the time she saw Laura’s daughter, Vivian, who she also adores, the entire neighborhood was echoing with the voices of dogs chiming back at her.

I glanced at Laura with frustration etched across my face and she started laughing.

“She loves fiercely,” she said, lightly flinging my own words right back at me.

“And loudly,” I added. And then I laughed too.


Artemis is showing me what I most need to do. I’ve been focused on loving fiercely and I’ve been determined to share that uninhibited love with those around me. I’ve pledged to play in it, write about it, shower you all with it.

This beautiful and sentient and intuitive beast is showing me how to speak it.

She’s demonstrating how such a love sounds. She allows it to bellow out of her and travel along the wind. It makes all of us perk up our ears and listen.

The best love is the love that breaks through the seams of our existence ~ the love that demands that we howl it out to the world unabashed and unafraid.

It is a primal love that is unchecked and unhindered. It reverberates through the night, calling out to others to join in and share in the chorus. It connects us. It makes us stop in our tracks and take notice.

It is a love that demands of us that we be present to it and move with it.

She is my teacher. I forget that sometimes. But she always shows me what I most need to see. And so again today, I choose to love fiercely. The next time you see me, you’d better watch out:

My love just might knock you off your feet.