Monthly Archives: March 2016

4 Eliciting Intimacy

When I set the intention to journey into more intimacy in all of my relationships, I wasn’t certain what that would mean for me and others in my life.

A part of me thought that I would be met with wide-open arms, and in some instances that was the case. A few of my relationships deepened immensely and there is a beautiful richness to them that allows for soul-baring honesty, profound support, and limitless love. These connections are nourishing me in ways that I never even knew possible. In addition to the increase of emotional intimacy in these friendships, the openness in my heart has fostered an even deeper connection with Spirit, which has spilled over into all of my interactions with others.


The work of deepening intimacy and vulnerability also afforded me the opportunity to experience a new type of romantic love, one that has shown me what it is to be held fully and completely in all areas of my life. This relationship precludes shame-blame energy, which in return, promotes honesty and truly open communication. It fosters a heart-to-heart connection that has opened me to experiencing myself in new ways.

This process was not easy. I had to be really brave and I had to constantly ask myself: How can I go deeper? How can I reveal myself in a way that feels authentic, true, and safe?

A part of what I realized was that as I have grown to feel safer and more secure in my own life, as I have embodied myself more fully, I have been able to create a strong foundation of self-trust and confidence that in turn has created an ability to trust the process of increased vulnerability. I feel safer opening to others because for the first time in many, many years, I feel safe in my body.

That doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt when my advances for more intimacy weren’t met. It also doesn’t mean that I didn’t experience sadness when it was revealed that the dynamics of some relationships weren’t equal.

It did convey that I had to look deep within my own heart to examine what it was calling forth of me to acknowledge and honor. I entered into another layer of healing and I looked at my pain as honestly as I could to see if and where I was holding myself or others away.

But even when others didn’t meet me head on, there was an overall increase in the depth of all of my connections and the flow of energy around me, from the teller at the bank to the drivers on the road around me to my family and friendships.

Sometimes this process was messy. And sometimes it was full of grace. At times I was triggered and at others I was embraced.

But it was always truthful. It was always heartfelt. It was always me, standing before another with my heart on my sleeve.


16 On Being Self-Full

I used to really struggle when it came to putting myself first, though taking care of others came very naturally to me. If I sensed that someone needed something, I quickly prioritized it, putting it above my own needs. I gave and I gave and then I would give even more, often to the point of depleting myself.

As a strong empath, much of my life has been experienced through the feelings of others. Within seconds of being around someone, I know exactly what emotions are processing through them, from the surface layer and all the way down to the most hidden.

At my best, this gift allows for me to be really good at what I do.

At other times, it has created confusion, anxiety, depression, exhaustion and a host of physical ailments.

Society taught me as I grew up to give selflessly while my empathy pushed me to try to manage everyone else’s emotions so that they would feel better. Initially, before I knew how to handle “being sensitive,” I had to numb myself with alcohol and drugs. The world always felt like it was just “too much” for me to handle and so I had to check out in order to manage it.

Once I got sober, learning to care for myself became a fast necessity. Valuing myself as my first priority was one of the most challenging lessons I had to learn, and it’s one that I’ve been working with for years now. Turns out, boundaries and self-care aren’t a one-shot lesson; they roll themselves out over and over again and with each step further into self-love, we extract a new layer to learn from.

For the longest while, it didn’t feel natural to prioritize my own needs, but what I realized was that unless I figured it out and put myself at the top of my own list, I wasn’t going to be good for myself or anyone else.

Even today, my primary impulse is almost always to over give, whether it’s of my time, my space, my knowledge, my heart or my energy. I have had to learn a lot of awareness so that I can step back and assess what areas of my life are pulling a little too hard on me so that I can adjust accordingly. I’ve had to assert myself in ways that have felt uncomfortable and hard so that I can understand my surroundings and the people in my life and find a way to interact with them in the way that best values my wellbeing.

And I’ve had to learn that self-care is non-negotiable. I still catch myself trying to circumnavigate this one at times. I’ll put it off or stick it behind a lists of tasks that I think are more important ~ and I can promise you that when I do this, it never ends well.

But when I am full because I have been nourishing myself and taking care of my own needs, the energy that I extend towards others is much more vibrant and alive. It is full of my own love of self that gets to spill over from a full vessel into the lives of others. It is infused with love and life and respect and honor because that is the energy that created it.

When I am around others who are doing the same thing: What a treat! We get to share in this beautiful exchange of energy that uplifts us both. Our hearts get to meet one another in a space of being self-full and we both are able to experience a richness of connection that is authentic and loving. Truly the best gift I can give to others is the highest version of me and it’s the one that I would like to receive from them as well.

Self-love keeps the soul humming.

What is one thing you can do to nourish yourself today? I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below!

Self-love keeps the soul humming.

2 Five Tips for Calming a Busy Brain (Besides Meditating)

We all know the feeling of the overactive brain and when we hit that moment of anxiety or overwhelm, it can be hard to remember our tools. Here are a few of my favorites that are easy to implement and highly effective at resetting the energy of mental chaos.

1. Stop, Drop and Breathe:

This is actually as quick and simple as it sounds. When you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, confused or ungrounded, this technique can provide a huge reset for you.

  • Stop what you are doing and sit down.
  • Feel your feet on the ground and settle into your physical frame. Notice your body without judgment; feel it and trust it as your structure and support.
  • Turn your attention to your belly and draw in a long breath. Allow your stomach to rise on the in-breath and fall on the out-breath. Repeat this about 5 times (or as much as feels good).
  • This is a great way to start a meditation if that is already in your practice, but it most definitely stands on its own as well.

2. Energy Dump & Refill:

A busy brain creates a lot of chaotic energy in your upper chakras, which in turn can manifest as anxiety and overwhelm. Grounding and cleansing is a great way to shift this imbalance.

If you have access to grass and a little time, go to it. (If you don’t, find some!) Lie on your back on the earth and settle into your body as in the tip above. Shift your breathing to your belly and take a long and full breath from it. Next, imagine that all of your cares, worries, fears and any energy that you are holding onto that doesn’t belong to you is flowing off of your body and into the earth to be transmuted.

You may find it useful to do a full body scan and to feel the energy flow out of each region of your body.

When you feel that you have released all that is heavy, frenetic and/or no longer serving you, set the intention to receive from the earth. In our busy world, we often forget to receive from others and it is vital that we refill as much if not more than we give. Feel the energy from Gaia flow up and into your body. Thank her and yourself for this opportunity to nourish and replenish.

If you have a grass allergy or find it uncomfortable to lie in it, this works standing or you could do the activity leaning against a tree. In both cases, release through your feet.


3. Take a Real Time Out:

The busier the schedule and the more activities you have stacked up in your day, the more you can benefit from stepping out of your active life and into something that requires you to be in a receptive state. This could be an energy healing session, a massage, a manicure or a facial. The point is that you are in a still position and receiving love and nourishment from another. You and your body deserve it!

4. Smell Your Way to Clarity & Calm*:

Lavender is my personal favorite essential oil and when my mind won’t slow down, it’s the first thing I turn to. It’s also great in conjunction with any of the activities above. It supports relaxation, so be careful with daytime use. If my mind is racing before sleep, I put a little of it on my pillow. I’ll fall asleep in no time!

Product shots fro new catalog at YL farm in Mona

Rosemary and Lemon promote clarity and focus and if I need to get some work done, I will diffuse these two together. This combination is uplifting and grounding at the same time. These combined with an energy shake off (see below) can create a great shift.

5. Shake it Off:

This advice from my childhood soccer coaches really works. Stomp your feet, shake your arms, move your torso and your head. Feel the excess energy releasing. Dancing is a great way to get the same result. Both activities release excess while bringing you back into your body.

If you’re really clearing some energetic muck, spray or burn some Sage afterwards to help transmute it.

If you have any tips that you use, I’d love to hear about them in the comments section. Thank you!

* I use and recommend Young Living oils for their purity and high quality. If you use another brand, be sure that it is chemical free and that the company takes pride in its product. Lavender oil found in the grocery stores is often made from Lavandin, which has a completely different composition and may not promote calming at all!