Monthly Archives: April 2016

Retreating Rocks

I’ve been nestled at the bottom of a hill in a tropical region along the Pacific Coast of Costa Rica for the past several days with my friend and colleague, Elicia Miller, and seven courageous and gorgeous women.

This experience has taken my breath away more than once, and the women have been the catalysts of this.

We have gone so deep. These women have opened up their hearts so fully and shared their truths. They have allowed themselves to be completely seen, trusting in me and Elicia and every other woman present to hold them as they do so. And because they have, we have all been able to meet each one fully.

Big shifts are happening. It takes a brave woman to dive into what has been repressed for years, lifetimes even. It takes a true warrior of the heart to explore what has been tucked away in order to feel safe, to break down defenses and pull up what has been churning in the undertow.

I am in awe. 

What a privilege to witness such beauty unfolding.

8 When You Stay Stuck in a Story…

…you give your power away.

Truth be told, most of us love a good story. An account well-told captivates us; it brings us together and allows us to feel solidarity and connection with others.

In fact, a catchy story played over and over in our own heads can be just as mesmerizing. Typically the plot lines of these stories follow one of two general layouts, either the I’m-the-victim-of-all-of-it plot or the I’m-to-blame-for-all-of-it version (which is also really a variation of the victim story). Sometimes there is even a middle ground that shifts between the two.

Regardless of which adaptation we are telling ourselves, when we hit repeat on the player, we are in effect keeping ourselves in a place of disempowerment. We are telling ourselves over and over again that: “this ~ and only this ~ is how it is.” Much of the time, we’ve written our version into a tragedy because drama sells.

So when the version of the story is one that doesn’t serve our growth, not only can it quickly become stifling ~ it can seemingly smother us. When this happens, we begin to feel anxious, overwhelmed, isolated and alone.

For years I told myself that life was a struggle. I had been victimized and I played that reel over and over again. As a result, the story bled into most areas of my life. I truly believed that I wasn’t enough and that I didn’t have enough value and so, in turn, I never perceived that there was enough available for me.

Turning this belief around was huge. I was attached to my story that life was hard and that I was a perpetual victim of circumstance. And so I continued to struggle and I continued to be victimized. Becoming a single mom further perpetuated the myth I’d created because I then bought into the societal belief that being a single mom is really hard.

And it is really challenging. I’m not downplaying the amount of dedication it takes to be a single mom (or any type of mom or dad for that matter). But I did stop buying into the international best-selling version of the story, which is that single moms don’t have enough money, time or support to raise their children the way other families do.

I decided to rewrite my as-yet-uncharted history ~ to create the unfolding that I truly wanted to claim. Now, updating this story didn’t happen overnight. I had to unravel years and years of personal and societal brainwashing.

I had to heal my emotional wounds. I had to process, cry, scream, laugh, journal my big ol’ heart out, and really dig deep into my psyche and my awareness. It was a complete overhaul of my raison d’être. It was messy and sloppy and so so so beautiful all at once.

But I did it. And thank goddess ~ because I’m not struggling anymore.

That doesn’t mean that there aren’t moments that are hard because there are plenty. What it does mean is that: I’m not defined by not being able to get through my hard moments. I get through them by moving the emotions and energy around them. And when I do that, the record changes. It’s a living and breathing story that allows for expansion and growth rather than holding me in a pattern of stagnation and constriction.

I’ve moved from victim to hero in my story. I say hero because I saved myself. And in the saving of myself, I created a better environment around me. This means that my child benefits, as do my friends, my family, my clients, my neighbors and the world at large. How wonderful it has been to take one more version of the stress/lack/scarcity paradigm out of the field and to replace it with a vibration of faith!

I’ve rewritten many stories in the last several years, and one of them is my money story. A part of that was giving up the idea that there isn’t enough and that I didn’t deserve to receive what was out there. I did loads of healing around this and then once I started working with my business coach, Monica Shah, my mindset shifted considerably. Here is a photo of me sharing my now ever-evolving money story ~ the one that I am actively creating ~ at her Master Your Money event in Atlanta this past weekend.


When we claim a new story, we create a new reality.

What story are you ready to rewrite? I’d love to support you. Share in the comment section below and I will hold your intention to shift along with you!

Embracing the Skeleton in the Closet

On the physical plane, the body is the home.

Not only is it the residence within which we dwell, it is a physical reflection of our experience here. Every cell, every gene shares a message with us about our experience, our passions, our fears, our everything…

We were wired to have emotional experiences ~ not just the happy and carefree ones, but also the sad, scary and angry ones.

But somewhere along the way, most of us discovered that it wasn’t safe to feel certain ways…We were taught that to cry was to be a baby, to be afraid was to be a sissy, and that to feel empathy or compassion was to be weak.

In the face of taunting, teasing and even physical or emotional violence, we may have started to push it all down and away. Many of us have felt that the only way to get through our lives was to try to pretend or act as if it never happened. And in the moment, it may have been. When there is trauma or abuse, compartmentalizing or ignoring the pain may in fact be the best coping and survival mechanism available at the time.

And so some of us may manage to forget it. But our bodies never forget. Even when we push our emotions down and away, they stay with us until we acknowledge them and listen to their messages.

Every emotion has a story that yearns to be heard. And when we don’t pay attention, that story starts to play more and more loudly in the background.

It may start as anxiety or an upset stomach or an injury. We may begin to lose sleep and wonder what is wrong. Ultimately, if we still insist on not listening, if we instead continue to numb ourselves or merely treat the symptoms, our bodies will speak up even more loudly.

Illness and disease have an emotional and metaphysical meaning that underlies their manifestation. When we can learn to live more fully present ~ to experience our bodies in a new and empowering way ~ and access the repressed emotions, we can begin to live our lives in a new way.

We can begin to live with a sense of flow, trusting ourselves and our surroundings. We can begin to know true joy ~ a sense of profound contentedness that is not dependent on that outside of us, but that instead rises up from within.

We can learn to intuitively know how to handle life and feel confident in how we do so.

It’s all within our reach. The only requirement is that we be willing to go deep within ourselves in a way that is honest and fearless.

I was terrified to do this work. I tried every way possible to bypass it: I did tons of energy work, I was hypnotized, I did yoga, I meditated, I read self-help books, I talked to counselors and more. It was all very helpful and it all has held a beautiful space in my healing journey.

But one piece was missing and it was an integral piece. I was talking around and skirting the repressed emotions, but I wasn’t feeling them. It wasn’t until I went into the deepest and darkest corners of my closet and pulled up all that I had stashed away that I experienced profound and lasting shift.

It may sound too challenging or too scary, but once we open the door to the closet and actually look at the skeletons, we see that they are an offering. Within each of them is a gift, a key, to a deeper understanding of our soul, our purpose, our how and why for being here. Each bone is a physical and spiritual inheritance, provided just for us.

Skeleton Praying

Skeleton Praying by William Cheselden

Are you ready to embrace your skeleton in the closet? Join me and Elicia Miller for our Tropical Immersion Healing Retreat in Costa Rica. Click HERE for details!

Essential oils can be a great tool to help release emotions and to support you in your process. To help with repressed emotions, both Geranium and Release (a blend from Young Living) work wonderfully! I’m happy to share how you can use them! Contact me at: