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Is This Even Mine?

So many of us carry around the weight of others and we don’t even realize it. We may wake up feeling great and then notice that our mood quickly shifts once we walk into our office or the grocery store. It may even shift from something we see on line or from the news.

Until we learn to approach this with conscious awareness, we can feel burdened or overwhelmed. But, it’s possible to shift this experience and to come to an understanding around how to hold our own energy without taking on the energy of others as well.

Working with this simple exercise can help you to begin understanding your energetic and physical bodies more fully so that you can begin to discern: Is this mine? Or did I pick it up from someone else?

Creating some body awareness on a daily basis is the key to this exercise.

Take a few minutes in the morning to tune-in. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths from your belly. Allow your energy to settle in your physical frame. Take a few moments to scan your body and just notice it. Is there anything going on with you physically? Try to stay away from judgment; if you feel it, notice it as well and then release it.

Next tune into your heart. How does it feel? Are you anxious? Do you feel fear? Are you dreading anything? Or maybe you feel happy or excited about your life, your day. This exercise is for creating awareness so you don’t have to do anything about any of it if you don’t want to (though with practice, you just may want to! It will start to feel more manageable). Take stock of your mood and any subtleties of it that you notice.

Finally, tune into your aura ~ the energy field that surrounds your physical body. Does it feel light, heavy, dark, sticky, energized or bright? Take a little tour through it as it may feel different in different areas of your field.

You can take a moment here to send back the energy of anyone besides you that is in your field. Just set the intention that it find its rightful owner and envision it traveling away from you to wherever it came from. Next, call back any energy of yours that has taken residence elsewhere. Feel yourself as complete and whole.

This whole process can take anywhere from 5-20 minutes, depending on you and what is going on. Also, you will get more adept at it with time.

The important thing is that now you are aware of your set point, so to speak. While you are out living your way through your day, stop when you notice shifts in your emotions or energy. Ask yourself: Is this mine? If it’s not, send it back to its rightful owner (note: this could be a person or a place). And if it is, allow yourself some curiosity around it and then ask yourself what you can do to give yourself whatever support feels best.


Superpowers Activate!

For most of my life, I knew I was sensitive.

Throughout those years, I equated sensitivity with weakness, pain, overwhelm, anxiety and confusion. I hated being sensitive, and I did my best to mask it and push it down. I did whatever I could to NOT be sensitive. I wanted to be tough, thick-skinned, able to hang with the boys.

Because of this, I denied my authentic self pretty regularly. In fact, I felt a lot of shame around who I was. I acted like I didn’t care and I put on a strong front, while inside I shrank further and further away from myself.

Feeling all the stuff around me caused me to accept blame that wasn’t mine to take on, it led me to a (very!) poor understanding of boundaries and it caused me to live in fear and confusion and to shut down and numb out.

I didn’t understand people or my environment and I had a poor ability to act in alignment with my integrity. “No” was nearly impossible to say (and even more so after being raped) because I didn’t want to “hurt” the other person and then feel responsible for their pain. I just gave in, kept the peace, all the while holding up the façade that all was well. There was as little boat rocking as possible in my seemingly fragile world.

I had a strong knowing of what all the people around me were feeling and yet they told me that they were fine. “Negative” emotions were deemed inappropriate and yet I could feel them all around me. It didn’t make any sense to me. And so I constantly thought of myself as wrong. I doubted myself, my instincts, and my ability to make sound decisions.

It was just too much. So I shut down.

I turned myself off for about 20 years. And during those two decades, I struggled with addiction, anxiety, insomnia, perfectionism, low self-esteem, overwhelm and more. I was a mess.

When I started doing healing work, shortly after my son was born, my intuitive gifts opened up again. It was like someone had ripped a Band-Aid off of me and all of a sudden, I could feel all the pain again. Every last little nerve ending was exposed. It was nearly crushing and I had no idea how to handle it.

It exacerbated problems with my health (empaths often struggle with candida, auto-immune disorders, IBS and more), it affected my relationships and it caused me to experience extreme exhaustion.

I could only do a little bit of healing work per week because I was taking on the stuff of everyone and then carrying it around with me, a little pack mule of other people’s emotions, illness and pain.

I tried cord cutting, bubbles, sage, crystals and more. They helped, but they didn’t solve the problem. My intuition was continuing to open and I still didn’t have the tools to truly help me do it safely. I was struggling and disempowered on my path.

Until I started to receive very clear messages on how to create a permanent shift in my field…information on how to get back into my body and stay there ~ truly scary stuff for an empath!

But the thing is: Once I got safely back into my body, it actually felt so good to be there that I didn’t want to leave it anymore. I could feel other people’s stuff and not take it on!

I had been given tools that created a permanent and empowering shift for me. My sensitivities had turned into superpowers! And once that happened…Wow! They opened even more.

(Note: If you have experienced trauma or have repressed emotions from childhood, I recommend working with my colleague, Elicia Miller. Core emotional healing and inner child work are essential tools as well.)

Most of my clients come to me overwhelmed and confused; I see this happening on a very large scale right now. And so I am feeling called to share these insights and teachings with others. I passionately feel that if we can understand how to go within and embody ourselves fully and strongly ~ if we can trust ourselves from this place of deep connection ~ then our empathy can become one of our greatest gifts and we can open up our intuition in a way that empowers us to be able to positively affect the lives of others. I’ve experienced it myself and seen it work in others as well.


I have created a live, online class in which we harness the power of the group for even more connection and activation. In this course, you receive:

  • Four live hour-long group sessions
  • Two group healing/activations (live and recorded to be downloaded and kept)
  • Two downloadable meditations
  • Downloadable content
  • Access to a private Facebook group where you can share, practice with one another and receive support from me

We will cover:

  • Feeling Empowered, not Overwhelmed: How to stop feeling tired, drained, anxious, and overly-sensitive in the world
  • Trusting Your Inner Guidance: How to tune into your higher wisdom and know the difference between fear and your intuition
  • Communicating with Your Guides: How to connect and build a relationship with your spirit team
  • Tune Into Your Psychic Senses: How to identify and cultivate the psychic senses of knowing, hearing, feeling, and seeing

This class portions of this course will be held on July 7, 21 & 28 and August 4 from 4:00-5:00 EDT.

For more information about Activate Your Superpowers: Four Ways to Access Your Higher Self, Your Guides and Spirit to Make Life Easier and Have Way More Fun, click HERE.

Being sensitive doesn’t have to be hard. In fact, it can be a blessing.

Much love!

2 Releasing the Bondage of Toxic Shame

Recently it’s been brought to my attention that my “openness” can be uncomfortable to others at times. It provoked an interesting reflection for me, since I spent most of my life buried in secrets.

I remember even as a young child thinking that I needed to keep aspects of myself hidden away as sharing them would show me to be the less-than-perfect human that (of course) I was.

There were always little droplets of shame dusting my existence, since the very beginning of me.

So when I was raped, I knew right where to place it. I took the event, twisted it around in my mind to try to maintain some sense of power in the face of this devastating situation, and then I tucked an entire tome of self-blame and denigration right there along with the rest of it.

I buried it amidst a pile of secrecy and I left it there and I fed it. Each and every day, I added at least a little more. Sometimes I added a lot. Even when I shared my dirty little secrets, it always started with, “Don’t tell anyone this, but…”

The fear of judgment ruled my shame and bled into all areas of my life.

And for a long, long time nothing seemed to help it. I knew that I wanted it to leave me. I was aware that it was harming me, but I struggled and struggled to release it. It wasn’t until I did the deeper work of releasing the repressed emotions along with a lot of energy and body work that I began to feel myself swimming up to the surface.

Once this happened, the shame released. The bundle of emotions that had kept the shame locked into place had moved and with that a tidal wave of energy poured out of me. The place that had been full of all that fear and self-judgment became a beautiful and open space, a neutral vacuum ready to be filled. I knew that I had the say in what went in there and I did not want to go back to the space I had been occupying for most of my life. That had NOT worked for me and I was ready for something new.

I also knew that I wanted to help others who also felt locked in pain, trauma, toxic shame and fear and that I couldn’t do that unless I openly and unapologetically revealed myself to others.

It was scary to very publicly share my experiences. Once on the Internet, always on the Internet. I was aware of this. I knew that the words could not be retracted. I had a few people in my life who really worried about this for me and that was challenging as well.

But I could not repress it again and I couldn’t help others experiencing this same pain if they couldn’t find me. They had to be able to identify me. It was my choice how that could play out: I could put on a modern day Scarlet Letter or I could speak with the voice of someone who had claimed her healing and her power. I chose the latter.

Being open feels natural and normal to me now. I don’t keep secrets and I don’t feel shame in the way that I used to. I don’t share every aspect of my life with every person I meet, but I do get to be authentic and true and genuine about who I am and my experience here in this lifetime.

And honestly…It feels good. I am so much lighter and I breathe so much more freely. I don’t have to cover things up or pretend or hide. I just AM. At times it’s uncomfortable and hard, but mostly it’s freeing. I can just show up and be and hold my space in a way that allows others to also be vulnerable with me. My openness gives others permission to be open too if they choose to accept that invitation. And I like that. It keeps it simple.

Button Lady

The Alchemy of Shift

What do you get when you connect seven courageous women, two loving and compassionate facilitators/healers, a nurturing and supportive healing space and Costa Rica? Pura Vida transformation!

“Elicia, Janet, (Doug and the Vida Asana team) gently held us in a structured, supportive healing space in a Costa Rica paradise. We clarified our hopes with personal intentions, fed our bodies nourishing food, bonded by witnessing each other’s vulnerability and shared courage through tears, laughter, yoga and cathartic meditation and rituals.

 Elicia’s wise, earthy calm and Janet’s spiritual insights create a generous, focused, harmonious coaching partnership. ‘Your symptoms are a gift’ resonated in truth as we unpicked avoidance habits and messages in our suppressed feelings.

Their confidence in the alchemy of listening to, processing, honoring and respecting the un-met needs of our inner children and nurturing their responsible (and angry) expression worked quickly for our collective good. 

I won’t say it was easy to explore hurts and give painful feelings a voice, but it was worth the journey. I have come away with awareness, a new mantra, tools, faith in myself to heal and beautiful, life-long supportive friends. ~ Anna

There is true magic in a connection forged through honest and intimate transference of emotions and experience, the kind that occurs when defenses are dropped and hearts are raised…an intimate camaraderie of sorts that activates our highest potential and allows for individual and shared catharsis.

Reaching down and into the core of our being to reveal that which we thought too painful to face and having it met with compassion and love by others is healing in itself. Beyond that, we are able to see the many ways in which we are the same, the manner in which the very fabric of our lives intersects and intertwines from experiencing similar pain, even when reached through different avenues.

This work with Elicia Miller has become a true love ~ one that transforms me right along with everyone else.  It elevates and inspires and I can’t wait to do it again (September!!!).

“I’ve been lucky enough to do quite a bit of inner personal work on myself in my life. I have to say that this retreat was the catalyst for some of deepest healing I’ve been able to do yet. Janet and Elicia provided such a safe space and environment that I felt safe to work on some very uncomfortable issues that have been wanting my attention for years.  I feel alive and peaceful in a new way and I credit it to the retreat: the material, the environment, the group synergy and Janet and Elicia’s facilitating skills. I’m a new woman.”  ~ Natha

“My week at the retreat was more than I ever could of imagined. I have been in talk therapy on and off for 15 years and honestly accomplished more and saw my “stuff” more clearly in just seven days. The power of the retreat is in the gentle guidance of Elicia and Janet, the power of a group of strong women also searching for self empowerment and the beauty of Costa Rica. I am truly grateful for such a life changing experience.” ~ Kelly


“This week was transformational and inspiring. Not only did I feel the shift in my own being, but I could sense it in each woman there. I cannot thank you all enough for what I gained through this experience. ” ~ Amy

 “An inspiring and life changing experience…” ~ Marva

To learn more about our retreat, click HERE.

CONTACT ME if you are interested in possibly attending our September 2016 retreat!


Retreating Rocks

I’ve been nestled at the bottom of a hill in a tropical region along the Pacific Coast of Costa Rica for the past several days with my friend and colleague, Elicia Miller, and seven courageous and gorgeous women.

This experience has taken my breath away more than once, and the women have been the catalysts of this.

We have gone so deep. These women have opened up their hearts so fully and shared their truths. They have allowed themselves to be completely seen, trusting in me and Elicia and every other woman present to hold them as they do so. And because they have, we have all been able to meet each one fully.

Big shifts are happening. It takes a brave woman to dive into what has been repressed for years, lifetimes even. It takes a true warrior of the heart to explore what has been tucked away in order to feel safe, to break down defenses and pull up what has been churning in the undertow.

I am in awe. 

What a privilege to witness such beauty unfolding.

8 When You Stay Stuck in a Story…

…you give your power away.

Truth be told, most of us love a good story. An account well-told captivates us; it brings us together and allows us to feel solidarity and connection with others.

In fact, a catchy story played over and over in our own heads can be just as mesmerizing. Typically the plot lines of these stories follow one of two general layouts, either the I’m-the-victim-of-all-of-it plot or the I’m-to-blame-for-all-of-it version (which is also really a variation of the victim story). Sometimes there is even a middle ground that shifts between the two.

Regardless of which adaptation we are telling ourselves, when we hit repeat on the player, we are in effect keeping ourselves in a place of disempowerment. We are telling ourselves over and over again that: “this ~ and only this ~ is how it is.” Much of the time, we’ve written our version into a tragedy because drama sells.

So when the version of the story is one that doesn’t serve our growth, not only can it quickly become stifling ~ it can seemingly smother us. When this happens, we begin to feel anxious, overwhelmed, isolated and alone.

For years I told myself that life was a struggle. I had been victimized and I played that reel over and over again. As a result, the story bled into most areas of my life. I truly believed that I wasn’t enough and that I didn’t have enough value and so, in turn, I never perceived that there was enough available for me.

Turning this belief around was huge. I was attached to my story that life was hard and that I was a perpetual victim of circumstance. And so I continued to struggle and I continued to be victimized. Becoming a single mom further perpetuated the myth I’d created because I then bought into the societal belief that being a single mom is really hard.

And it is really challenging. I’m not downplaying the amount of dedication it takes to be a single mom (or any type of mom or dad for that matter). But I did stop buying into the international best-selling version of the story, which is that single moms don’t have enough money, time or support to raise their children the way other families do.

I decided to rewrite my as-yet-uncharted history ~ to create the unfolding that I truly wanted to claim. Now, updating this story didn’t happen overnight. I had to unravel years and years of personal and societal brainwashing.

I had to heal my emotional wounds. I had to process, cry, scream, laugh, journal my big ol’ heart out, and really dig deep into my psyche and my awareness. It was a complete overhaul of my raison d’être. It was messy and sloppy and so so so beautiful all at once.

But I did it. And thank goddess ~ because I’m not struggling anymore.

That doesn’t mean that there aren’t moments that are hard because there are plenty. What it does mean is that: I’m not defined by not being able to get through my hard moments. I get through them by moving the emotions and energy around them. And when I do that, the record changes. It’s a living and breathing story that allows for expansion and growth rather than holding me in a pattern of stagnation and constriction.

I’ve moved from victim to hero in my story. I say hero because I saved myself. And in the saving of myself, I created a better environment around me. This means that my child benefits, as do my friends, my family, my clients, my neighbors and the world at large. How wonderful it has been to take one more version of the stress/lack/scarcity paradigm out of the field and to replace it with a vibration of faith!

I’ve rewritten many stories in the last several years, and one of them is my money story. A part of that was giving up the idea that there isn’t enough and that I didn’t deserve to receive what was out there. I did loads of healing around this and then once I started working with my business coach, Monica Shah, my mindset shifted considerably. Here is a photo of me sharing my now ever-evolving money story ~ the one that I am actively creating ~ at her Master Your Money event in Atlanta this past weekend.


When we claim a new story, we create a new reality.

What story are you ready to rewrite? I’d love to support you. Share in the comment section below and I will hold your intention to shift along with you!

Embracing the Skeleton in the Closet

On the physical plane, the body is the home.

Not only is it the residence within which we dwell, it is a physical reflection of our experience here. Every cell, every gene shares a message with us about our experience, our passions, our fears, our everything…

We were wired to have emotional experiences ~ not just the happy and carefree ones, but also the sad, scary and angry ones.

But somewhere along the way, most of us discovered that it wasn’t safe to feel certain ways…We were taught that to cry was to be a baby, to be afraid was to be a sissy, and that to feel empathy or compassion was to be weak.

In the face of taunting, teasing and even physical or emotional violence, we may have started to push it all down and away. Many of us have felt that the only way to get through our lives was to try to pretend or act as if it never happened. And in the moment, it may have been. When there is trauma or abuse, compartmentalizing or ignoring the pain may in fact be the best coping and survival mechanism available at the time.

And so some of us may manage to forget it. But our bodies never forget. Even when we push our emotions down and away, they stay with us until we acknowledge them and listen to their messages.

Every emotion has a story that yearns to be heard. And when we don’t pay attention, that story starts to play more and more loudly in the background.

It may start as anxiety or an upset stomach or an injury. We may begin to lose sleep and wonder what is wrong. Ultimately, if we still insist on not listening, if we instead continue to numb ourselves or merely treat the symptoms, our bodies will speak up even more loudly.

Illness and disease have an emotional and metaphysical meaning that underlies their manifestation. When we can learn to live more fully present ~ to experience our bodies in a new and empowering way ~ and access the repressed emotions, we can begin to live our lives in a new way.

We can begin to live with a sense of flow, trusting ourselves and our surroundings. We can begin to know true joy ~ a sense of profound contentedness that is not dependent on that outside of us, but that instead rises up from within.

We can learn to intuitively know how to handle life and feel confident in how we do so.

It’s all within our reach. The only requirement is that we be willing to go deep within ourselves in a way that is honest and fearless.

I was terrified to do this work. I tried every way possible to bypass it: I did tons of energy work, I was hypnotized, I did yoga, I meditated, I read self-help books, I talked to counselors and more. It was all very helpful and it all has held a beautiful space in my healing journey.

But one piece was missing and it was an integral piece. I was talking around and skirting the repressed emotions, but I wasn’t feeling them. It wasn’t until I went into the deepest and darkest corners of my closet and pulled up all that I had stashed away that I experienced profound and lasting shift.

It may sound too challenging or too scary, but once we open the door to the closet and actually look at the skeletons, we see that they are an offering. Within each of them is a gift, a key, to a deeper understanding of our soul, our purpose, our how and why for being here. Each bone is a physical and spiritual inheritance, provided just for us.

Skeleton Praying

Skeleton Praying by William Cheselden

Are you ready to embrace your skeleton in the closet? Join me and Elicia Miller for our Tropical Immersion Healing Retreat in Costa Rica. Click HERE for details!

Essential oils can be a great tool to help release emotions and to support you in your process. To help with repressed emotions, both Geranium and Release (a blend from Young Living) work wonderfully! I’m happy to share how you can use them! Contact me at:


4 Eliciting Intimacy

When I set the intention to journey into more intimacy in all of my relationships, I wasn’t certain what that would mean for me and others in my life.

A part of me thought that I would be met with wide-open arms, and in some instances that was the case. A few of my relationships deepened immensely and there is a beautiful richness to them that allows for soul-baring honesty, profound support, and limitless love. These connections are nourishing me in ways that I never even knew possible. In addition to the increase of emotional intimacy in these friendships, the openness in my heart has fostered an even deeper connection with Spirit, which has spilled over into all of my interactions with others.


The work of deepening intimacy and vulnerability also afforded me the opportunity to experience a new type of romantic love, one that has shown me what it is to be held fully and completely in all areas of my life. This relationship precludes shame-blame energy, which in return, promotes honesty and truly open communication. It fosters a heart-to-heart connection that has opened me to experiencing myself in new ways.

This process was not easy. I had to be really brave and I had to constantly ask myself: How can I go deeper? How can I reveal myself in a way that feels authentic, true, and safe?

A part of what I realized was that as I have grown to feel safer and more secure in my own life, as I have embodied myself more fully, I have been able to create a strong foundation of self-trust and confidence that in turn has created an ability to trust the process of increased vulnerability. I feel safer opening to others because for the first time in many, many years, I feel safe in my body.

That doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt when my advances for more intimacy weren’t met. It also doesn’t mean that I didn’t experience sadness when it was revealed that the dynamics of some relationships weren’t equal.

It did convey that I had to look deep within my own heart to examine what it was calling forth of me to acknowledge and honor. I entered into another layer of healing and I looked at my pain as honestly as I could to see if and where I was holding myself or others away.

But even when others didn’t meet me head on, there was an overall increase in the depth of all of my connections and the flow of energy around me, from the teller at the bank to the drivers on the road around me to my family and friendships.

Sometimes this process was messy. And sometimes it was full of grace. At times I was triggered and at others I was embraced.

But it was always truthful. It was always heartfelt. It was always me, standing before another with my heart on my sleeve.


16 On Being Self-Full

I used to really struggle when it came to putting myself first, though taking care of others came very naturally to me. If I sensed that someone needed something, I quickly prioritized it, putting it above my own needs. I gave and I gave and then I would give even more, often to the point of depleting myself.

As a strong empath, much of my life has been experienced through the feelings of others. Within seconds of being around someone, I know exactly what emotions are processing through them, from the surface layer and all the way down to the most hidden.

At my best, this gift allows for me to be really good at what I do.

At other times, it has created confusion, anxiety, depression, exhaustion and a host of physical ailments.

Society taught me as I grew up to give selflessly while my empathy pushed me to try to manage everyone else’s emotions so that they would feel better. Initially, before I knew how to handle “being sensitive,” I had to numb myself with alcohol and drugs. The world always felt like it was just “too much” for me to handle and so I had to check out in order to manage it.

Once I got sober, learning to care for myself became a fast necessity. Valuing myself as my first priority was one of the most challenging lessons I had to learn, and it’s one that I’ve been working with for years now. Turns out, boundaries and self-care aren’t a one-shot lesson; they roll themselves out over and over again and with each step further into self-love, we extract a new layer to learn from.

For the longest while, it didn’t feel natural to prioritize my own needs, but what I realized was that unless I figured it out and put myself at the top of my own list, I wasn’t going to be good for myself or anyone else.

Even today, my primary impulse is almost always to over give, whether it’s of my time, my space, my knowledge, my heart or my energy. I have had to learn a lot of awareness so that I can step back and assess what areas of my life are pulling a little too hard on me so that I can adjust accordingly. I’ve had to assert myself in ways that have felt uncomfortable and hard so that I can understand my surroundings and the people in my life and find a way to interact with them in the way that best values my wellbeing.

And I’ve had to learn that self-care is non-negotiable. I still catch myself trying to circumnavigate this one at times. I’ll put it off or stick it behind a lists of tasks that I think are more important ~ and I can promise you that when I do this, it never ends well.

But when I am full because I have been nourishing myself and taking care of my own needs, the energy that I extend towards others is much more vibrant and alive. It is full of my own love of self that gets to spill over from a full vessel into the lives of others. It is infused with love and life and respect and honor because that is the energy that created it.

When I am around others who are doing the same thing: What a treat! We get to share in this beautiful exchange of energy that uplifts us both. Our hearts get to meet one another in a space of being self-full and we both are able to experience a richness of connection that is authentic and loving. Truly the best gift I can give to others is the highest version of me and it’s the one that I would like to receive from them as well.

Self-love keeps the soul humming.

What is one thing you can do to nourish yourself today? I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below!

Self-love keeps the soul humming.