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Living in Your “YES!”


For those of us who are sensitive, boundaries can mean tricky business…

An effective early step in working with boundaries* is to begin to understand our own energetic and physical bodies and what feels good to us. Most empaths, sensitives and people who have experienced trauma have developed an energy pattern that is quite literally out-of-body.

We do this to achieve a perceived sense of safety, but what happens is that we lose the ability to discern what is ours and what isn’t ours and where we end and others begin. We become confused over what feels good and right to us and what compromises us in some way. We also become uncertain as to what is our responsibility and what isn’t (other by-products of being out-of-body include overwhelm, anxiety, confusion, ungroundedness and more).

Here is a simple body scan exercise that can help you to get started. I love this exercise and use some variation of it almost every day for myself. Over time, using this and other techniques, I’ve been able to create a very strong sense of self ~ one that enables me to be fully present in my body, empowered in my empathy and intuition, and capable of maintaining fluid boundaries that honor my true needs and all of those I’m in relationship with. Through this work, I’ve been able to know and honor my true feelings.

  • Take a moment to get settled and quiet in a chair or lying down on your back with your stomach, solar plexus and heart centers open.
  • Turn your attention to your breath. On your in-breath, feel your belly rise and expand. Let your breath begin in your stomach and then rise through your diaphragm and then lungs.
  • Allow your out-breath to be at least as long as your in-breath and feel your tummy fall as you release and let go.
  • Do about 10 rounds of this breathing.
  • Next, turn your attention to your body. This type of breathing connects you back into your core and will help you to feel more embodied immediately. (This is great to do anytime you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed.)
  • Start at your toes and move your way up, just noticing and feeling your body. If any judgments arise, gently release them and return to the breath and the scan.
  • When you feel calm and centered, ask your body to show you what “yes” feels like. This may come as a sense of expansion, a smile, an opening of the heart or in another way that feels good to you. If it doesn’t come immediately, that is okay. Just breathe and stay centered. You may need to give it a few minutes or try again at a later time. For many of us, being fully embodied is a new experience and we may need to have space to explore it further before understanding it fully.
  • After you have your affirmative response, ask your body to show you “no.” My body shows me this by constricting in the heart center. Some feel it in their belly or head. Any of the responses can shift and change as well, though the quality of them will tend to remain the same.
  • You can also ask your body to show you a neutral response, as oftentimes that is the case as in a situation like this: “How would an apple for a snack be for me?” If you have no sensitivities to an apple, it may show up in a neutral, if-you-want-it sort of way.
  • When you are finished, turn back into your breath and send thoughts of gratitude to your body for supporting you.

With practice, understanding your authentic, full-bodied “YES!” will become second nature and you will be able to discern which people, places and situations do and don’t feel good to you. From there, you can begin the process of living from a space of honoring that yes and aligning with it more consistently.  Ultimately, that YES! will open new doors of exploration and freedom to you.

With much love!

*Boundaries are complex. The activity above is a great place to start and there are many tools that can help you to begin shifting them. Fully understanding them may require you to undergo deep, emotional clearing work, especially if there is trauma. If there are core trauma wounds present, I recommend working with Elicia Miller to help clear them in conjunction with resetting your energy field and working with tools such as the one above.

Superpowers Activate!

For most of my life, I knew I was sensitive.

Throughout those years, I equated sensitivity with weakness, pain, overwhelm, anxiety and confusion. I hated being sensitive, and I did my best to mask it and push it down. I did whatever I could to NOT be sensitive. I wanted to be tough, thick-skinned, able to hang with the boys.

Because of this, I denied my authentic self pretty regularly. In fact, I felt a lot of shame around who I was. I acted like I didn’t care and I put on a strong front, while inside I shrank further and further away from myself.

Feeling all the stuff around me caused me to accept blame that wasn’t mine to take on, it led me to a (very!) poor understanding of boundaries and it caused me to live in fear and confusion and to shut down and numb out.

I didn’t understand people or my environment and I had a poor ability to act in alignment with my integrity. “No” was nearly impossible to say (and even more so after being raped) because I didn’t want to “hurt” the other person and then feel responsible for their pain. I just gave in, kept the peace, all the while holding up the façade that all was well. There was as little boat rocking as possible in my seemingly fragile world.

I had a strong knowing of what all the people around me were feeling and yet they told me that they were fine. “Negative” emotions were deemed inappropriate and yet I could feel them all around me. It didn’t make any sense to me. And so I constantly thought of myself as wrong. I doubted myself, my instincts, and my ability to make sound decisions.

It was just too much. So I shut down.

I turned myself off for about 20 years. And during those two decades, I struggled with addiction, anxiety, insomnia, perfectionism, low self-esteem, overwhelm and more. I was a mess.

When I started doing healing work, shortly after my son was born, my intuitive gifts opened up again. It was like someone had ripped a Band-Aid off of me and all of a sudden, I could feel all the pain again. Every last little nerve ending was exposed. It was nearly crushing and I had no idea how to handle it.

It exacerbated problems with my health (empaths often struggle with candida, auto-immune disorders, IBS and more), it affected my relationships and it caused me to experience extreme exhaustion.

I could only do a little bit of healing work per week because I was taking on the stuff of everyone and then carrying it around with me, a little pack mule of other people’s emotions, illness and pain.

I tried cord cutting, bubbles, sage, crystals and more. They helped, but they didn’t solve the problem. My intuition was continuing to open and I still didn’t have the tools to truly help me do it safely. I was struggling and disempowered on my path.

Until I started to receive very clear messages on how to create a permanent shift in my field…information on how to get back into my body and stay there ~ truly scary stuff for an empath!

But the thing is: Once I got safely back into my body, it actually felt so good to be there that I didn’t want to leave it anymore. I could feel other people’s stuff and not take it on!

I had been given tools that created a permanent and empowering shift for me. My sensitivities had turned into superpowers! And once that happened…Wow! They opened even more.

(Note: If you have experienced trauma or have repressed emotions from childhood, I recommend working with my colleague, Elicia Miller. Core emotional healing and inner child work are essential tools as well.)

Most of my clients come to me overwhelmed and confused; I see this happening on a very large scale right now. And so I am feeling called to share these insights and teachings with others. I passionately feel that if we can understand how to go within and embody ourselves fully and strongly ~ if we can trust ourselves from this place of deep connection ~ then our empathy can become one of our greatest gifts and we can open up our intuition in a way that empowers us to be able to positively affect the lives of others. I’ve experienced it myself and seen it work in others as well.


I have created a live, online class in which we harness the power of the group for even more connection and activation. In this course, you receive:

  • Four live hour-long group sessions
  • Two group healing/activations (live and recorded to be downloaded and kept)
  • Two downloadable meditations
  • Downloadable content
  • Access to a private Facebook group where you can share, practice with one another and receive support from me

We will cover:

  • Feeling Empowered, not Overwhelmed: How to stop feeling tired, drained, anxious, and overly-sensitive in the world
  • Trusting Your Inner Guidance: How to tune into your higher wisdom and know the difference between fear and your intuition
  • Communicating with Your Guides: How to connect and build a relationship with your spirit team
  • Tune Into Your Psychic Senses: How to identify and cultivate the psychic senses of knowing, hearing, feeling, and seeing

This class portions of this course will be held on July 7, 21 & 28 and August 4 from 4:00-5:00 EDT.

For more information about Activate Your Superpowers: Four Ways to Access Your Higher Self, Your Guides and Spirit to Make Life Easier and Have Way More Fun, click HERE.

Being sensitive doesn’t have to be hard. In fact, it can be a blessing.

Much love!

16 On Being Self-Full

I used to really struggle when it came to putting myself first, though taking care of others came very naturally to me. If I sensed that someone needed something, I quickly prioritized it, putting it above my own needs. I gave and I gave and then I would give even more, often to the point of depleting myself.

As a strong empath, much of my life has been experienced through the feelings of others. Within seconds of being around someone, I know exactly what emotions are processing through them, from the surface layer and all the way down to the most hidden.

At my best, this gift allows for me to be really good at what I do.

At other times, it has created confusion, anxiety, depression, exhaustion and a host of physical ailments.

Society taught me as I grew up to give selflessly while my empathy pushed me to try to manage everyone else’s emotions so that they would feel better. Initially, before I knew how to handle “being sensitive,” I had to numb myself with alcohol and drugs. The world always felt like it was just “too much” for me to handle and so I had to check out in order to manage it.

Once I got sober, learning to care for myself became a fast necessity. Valuing myself as my first priority was one of the most challenging lessons I had to learn, and it’s one that I’ve been working with for years now. Turns out, boundaries and self-care aren’t a one-shot lesson; they roll themselves out over and over again and with each step further into self-love, we extract a new layer to learn from.

For the longest while, it didn’t feel natural to prioritize my own needs, but what I realized was that unless I figured it out and put myself at the top of my own list, I wasn’t going to be good for myself or anyone else.

Even today, my primary impulse is almost always to over give, whether it’s of my time, my space, my knowledge, my heart or my energy. I have had to learn a lot of awareness so that I can step back and assess what areas of my life are pulling a little too hard on me so that I can adjust accordingly. I’ve had to assert myself in ways that have felt uncomfortable and hard so that I can understand my surroundings and the people in my life and find a way to interact with them in the way that best values my wellbeing.

And I’ve had to learn that self-care is non-negotiable. I still catch myself trying to circumnavigate this one at times. I’ll put it off or stick it behind a lists of tasks that I think are more important ~ and I can promise you that when I do this, it never ends well.

But when I am full because I have been nourishing myself and taking care of my own needs, the energy that I extend towards others is much more vibrant and alive. It is full of my own love of self that gets to spill over from a full vessel into the lives of others. It is infused with love and life and respect and honor because that is the energy that created it.

When I am around others who are doing the same thing: What a treat! We get to share in this beautiful exchange of energy that uplifts us both. Our hearts get to meet one another in a space of being self-full and we both are able to experience a richness of connection that is authentic and loving. Truly the best gift I can give to others is the highest version of me and it’s the one that I would like to receive from them as well.

Self-love keeps the soul humming.

What is one thing you can do to nourish yourself today? I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below!

Self-love keeps the soul humming.

Fluid Boundaries

I’ve spent years healing boundary issues and it is a process that still continues today. For us empaths, understanding where one person begins and another ends can be challenging and difficult. I have always felt everything that everyone around me was feeling and until I learned how to manage my energy body, it was incredibly confusing and overwhelming. Unless I am in session with a client (where my empathic skills are a true gift), I have had to learn to intentionally not take on others’ stuff. This keeps me from burning out and allows me to be open and bright instead of numbed out and shut down, something that I felt the need to be for years.  Alcohol and drugs are not an option for me anymore, and I’d rather not numb out in other ways either, such as with sugar or distractions.

As I said, I am still sorting through the many nuances of boundaries. I am also striving to find a way to experience more intimacy with others. At first glance, these two things feel at odds with one another. How can we continue to open our hearts while simultaneously keeping ourselves detached from the “stuff” of others?

It’s all come together for me within the context of fluid boundaries. With fluid boundaries, it is necessary to learn how to tune into yourself and to trust what comes up. It’s simple, but it takes a little practice.

Start by taking a little time each day to get attuned to your body and how it communicates with you. Focus on your breathing (from the stomach allow your belly to rise with the in-breath and fall with the out). From there, notice yourself really in your body. If you find yourself thinking, questioning or analyzing, allow your attention to drop down into either your heart or tummy. Really feel yourself fall into this space. When your mind becomes inactive, there will be a sense of melting into whichever spot you chose.

Next, just pay attention to your body. Notice where it is calling to you, any discomfort and any open space.  Just let your body share itself with you. After your scan, ask it questions and see how the responses feel to you. If you want to know about how a person is for you, focus on him or her and then set the intention that your body show you how it senses the energy of that person. Do you feel tightness in your chest? How does your stomach feel? Are you smiling or frowning? Maybe you feel lightness or heaviness. Maybe a sound even escapes you. Practice this skill as often as you can. Get to know and trust what your body is telling you. You can use this tool to get valuable information for yourself on just about anything.

Next we can take this skill out into the world. Use your tools to manage your energy body when you leave the house and then as you go through your day, use the above tool to intuit how you feel about the people and places that you interact with. If, when you stop to talk to Susan in the break room, you get a headache or feel heavy, trust that it behooves you to keep your energy filter strong around her. If on the other hand, you feel lighter and brighter around her and when you think about opening your heart a little more to her, it feels good and safe, then go for it.

When we learn to trust our ability to discern who is healthy for us and who is not and we can then act accordingly, we open the doorway to keeping ourselves healthy while also forging deeply satisfying and rewarding relationships.

I’m still careful about who I let in, but I’ve allowed myself to connect more deeply and with more vulnerability because I feel stronger and more capable of taking care of myself. I also know, because I’ve done a ton of work, that even if I make a mistake every once in a while, I’ll get through it. It doesn’t have to be a crisis in which I doubt my own ability to manage my life or affairs anymore. And I don’t have to blame others for their shortcomings either because I know that I have support and love not just around me, but within me too.

*For those of you who use essential oils, Clove is a wonderful aid for the establishment and maintenance of healthy boundaries. It supports us in moving from a victim, can’t-say-no mentality to an aligned-with-my-authentic/empowered-self viewpoint. I highly recommend working with it in your auric field and chakras, diffusing it or using a few drops on the soles of your feet. I recommend following application directions and using only 100% therapeutic grade essential oils such as those made by Young Living.