Tag Archives for " embodiment "

Trusting the Voice Within

Learning to trust myself was a major process, fraught with ups and downs and doubts and fear.

I had never trusted myself and most of my life was spent trying to force myself to believe that everything was okay. When I couldn’t make a decision, I just stayed where I was: I was afraid I would make the wrong one.

Even after my intuition reawakened, I doubted myself. I could see the paths and decisions that would help others, but I could rarely see what would best support me.

I was living outside of my body, I was overwhelmed and confused, and I stayed small so that I wouldn’t have to make decisions that might create a sense of failure or pain in me. And as a result of this, I was allowing others to have dominion over my mood, my actions and my sense of self-worth. It was easier to let life lead me than it was to actively co-create my reality.

Everything had always taught me to not trust what I was feeling and to override what my body was telling me. I played soccer on sprained ankles and I cartwheeled on hurt wrists; crying was a sign of weakness and anger was to be suppressed. I could sense the emotions that everyone else was feeling ~ anger, sadness, anxiety ~ but I would always hear that they were “fine” or “good.” Hide, hide, hide who you truly are was the message all around me…And it confused me and taught me that what I was feeling must have been wrong…

I know this to be true about a lot of people that I work with as well…the inability to trust ourselves and our intuition is a product of years of denying the reality of our situation, feelings, life in general…

And it can be hard to come back from this…It can feel unstable and uncertain. It can be really difficult to move through the conditioning and doubt.

Learning to go back within…to access the wisdom of my body and my higher self changed everything for me. I’m able to intuitively handle situations that used to be stressful and overwhelming for me. I can make decisions that feel aligned and good to me. I TRUST that I’m taking care of my needs and I feel safer as a result.

And my psychic abilities soared as I began to trust my inner wisdom; it’s like having an internal system of checks and balances and so as I receive information from my upper chakras (Third Eye and Crown), I feel the insights land in my body more strongly and I’m able to better navigate the subtleties of what I’m perceiving.

A huge part of my healing journey was this key aspect of finally trusting myself. I still had to navigate trauma and stress and chronic symptoms, but the more connected I became to my inner voice, the more substantiated and grounded I became in the rest. I learned how to BE fully in my body and to listen to its rhythms, likes and desires. I also began to acknowledge, feel and respect its no’s…

My inner voice always guides me with heart and the interest of my best and highest good…And accessing and trusting that is a pure treasure that never leads me astray.

P.S. If this resonates with you, I can help you! Check out my Activate Your Superpowers class HERE.

If Something Doesn’t Feel Right…

If something doesn’t feel right…

It probably isn’t.

And yet, so much of the time we don’t pay attention to our body’s signals…and then we end up wondering how we got where we are, why we did what, what we were thinking and why we don’t listen to ourselves.

We’ve been taught, socialized, pushed to use our heads ~ to think things through: How does it look on paper and what are the pros and cons of the situation? We are shown that facts and data and raw analysis will lead us down the right path…The one that our families, friends and society have determined is the best for us regardless of what we feel truly passionate about.

We are shown to discount our feelings and the ways that our bodies communicate with us…to push through the pain, to keep on going, to get things done regardless of the pains, illnesses or sense of dread that we may be experiencing. We are taught that it is desirable and necessary to override our physiology in favor of the mind.

I’m not about to discredit the use of the mind here. It truly is a beautiful thing! But it also has been conditioned and socialized and the voice of the ego is in there messing things up a lot of the time. And while one of the ego’s jobs is to protect us ~ and it’s probably done a great job at that! ~ it is its job to do it at all costs, even lying to us and asking us to overlook our sense feelings in order to get what it wants.

Ignoring my body’s signals led me to chronic pain and illness, addiction and depression. It has taken me years to unravel and I’m still exploring various aspects of it. It also led me to not trusting myself and the decisions that I was making.

A huge part of my growth was a) getting back into my body and b) learning to how to listen to and understand it.

In order to do this I had to access the core emotions and trauma that I had repressed. I did this by going within my body and opening up a dialogue with it. Once I accessed what I had repressed, I honored what was coming up and allowed the emotions that my body was holding to move through me. (My colleague Elicia Miller has developed an amazing and highly effective method for doing this ~ I highly recommend working with her. We also have a retreat coming up in October as well! See below for more details.)

Over time, I started to understand my body and its cues. I began to trust it (it as always trustworthy ~ it was me who had doubted it) and I cultivated my relationship with it. As this happened, my intuition opened even more and I began to live in a state of (mostly) flow. As I began to follow the lead of my embodied intuition, I made better choices, I became more faith-full and courageous, and my life opened up beautifully.

One of my clients noted to me the other day that she’d noticed the shift to saying “I feel” instead of “I think.” I too noticed this when it happened to me…And it was the herald of expansion and growth in a way that I could never have imagined.

Today, if something doesn’t feel right, I release it. And if it does, I embrace it. I’m keeping it simple and allowing my heart to guide me. 

I try to integrate my mind with my body so that they can balance and harmonize and so I’m aware of any potential pitfalls or dangers. My head still messes with me from time to time, but it also provides me with a lot of valuable information. When I feel my mind trying to wrestle control in a situation, I focus my attention within to understand what is really going on. And from that space, I’m able to find the right tools to get me back on track.

How can our retreat help?

The retreat that I’m facilitating along with Elicia Miller October 23-30 in the mountains of Costa Rica is a powerful and effective way to greatly jumpstart this process. We will create sacred space and guide you through processes to help you safely access and release your repressed emotions, connect to your inner child on a very deep level and learn how to re-parent her with compassion and love, and shift your energy in a way that helps you to access your gifts, embodied wisdom and intuition.

Our past participants have all been transformed by this work!

For more information, click HERE or CONTACT ME to set up a free chat. Continue reading

Embracing the Skeleton in the Closet

On the physical plane, the body is the home.

Not only is it the residence within which we dwell, it is a physical reflection of our experience here. Every cell, every gene shares a message with us about our experience, our passions, our fears, our everything…

We were wired to have emotional experiences ~ not just the happy and carefree ones, but also the sad, scary and angry ones.

But somewhere along the way, most of us discovered that it wasn’t safe to feel certain ways…We were taught that to cry was to be a baby, to be afraid was to be a sissy, and that to feel empathy or compassion was to be weak.

In the face of taunting, teasing and even physical or emotional violence, we may have started to push it all down and away. Many of us have felt that the only way to get through our lives was to try to pretend or act as if it never happened. And in the moment, it may have been. When there is trauma or abuse, compartmentalizing or ignoring the pain may in fact be the best coping and survival mechanism available at the time.

And so some of us may manage to forget it. But our bodies never forget. Even when we push our emotions down and away, they stay with us until we acknowledge them and listen to their messages.

Every emotion has a story that yearns to be heard. And when we don’t pay attention, that story starts to play more and more loudly in the background.

It may start as anxiety or an upset stomach or an injury. We may begin to lose sleep and wonder what is wrong. Ultimately, if we still insist on not listening, if we instead continue to numb ourselves or merely treat the symptoms, our bodies will speak up even more loudly.

Illness and disease have an emotional and metaphysical meaning that underlies their manifestation. When we can learn to live more fully present ~ to experience our bodies in a new and empowering way ~ and access the repressed emotions, we can begin to live our lives in a new way.

We can begin to live with a sense of flow, trusting ourselves and our surroundings. We can begin to know true joy ~ a sense of profound contentedness that is not dependent on that outside of us, but that instead rises up from within.

We can learn to intuitively know how to handle life and feel confident in how we do so.

It’s all within our reach. The only requirement is that we be willing to go deep within ourselves in a way that is honest and fearless.

I was terrified to do this work. I tried every way possible to bypass it: I did tons of energy work, I was hypnotized, I did yoga, I meditated, I read self-help books, I talked to counselors and more. It was all very helpful and it all has held a beautiful space in my healing journey.

But one piece was missing and it was an integral piece. I was talking around and skirting the repressed emotions, but I wasn’t feeling them. It wasn’t until I went into the deepest and darkest corners of my closet and pulled up all that I had stashed away that I experienced profound and lasting shift.

It may sound too challenging or too scary, but once we open the door to the closet and actually look at the skeletons, we see that they are an offering. Within each of them is a gift, a key, to a deeper understanding of our soul, our purpose, our how and why for being here. Each bone is a physical and spiritual inheritance, provided just for us.

Skeleton Praying

Skeleton Praying by William Cheselden

Are you ready to embrace your skeleton in the closet? Join me and Elicia Miller for our Tropical Immersion Healing Retreat in Costa Rica. Click HERE for details!

Essential oils can be a great tool to help release emotions and to support you in your process. To help with repressed emotions, both Geranium and Release (a blend from Young Living) work wonderfully! I’m happy to share how you can use them! Contact me at: janet@janetraftis.com.


4 Eliciting Intimacy

When I set the intention to journey into more intimacy in all of my relationships, I wasn’t certain what that would mean for me and others in my life.

A part of me thought that I would be met with wide-open arms, and in some instances that was the case. A few of my relationships deepened immensely and there is a beautiful richness to them that allows for soul-baring honesty, profound support, and limitless love. These connections are nourishing me in ways that I never even knew possible. In addition to the increase of emotional intimacy in these friendships, the openness in my heart has fostered an even deeper connection with Spirit, which has spilled over into all of my interactions with others.


The work of deepening intimacy and vulnerability also afforded me the opportunity to experience a new type of romantic love, one that has shown me what it is to be held fully and completely in all areas of my life. This relationship precludes shame-blame energy, which in return, promotes honesty and truly open communication. It fosters a heart-to-heart connection that has opened me to experiencing myself in new ways.

This process was not easy. I had to be really brave and I had to constantly ask myself: How can I go deeper? How can I reveal myself in a way that feels authentic, true, and safe?

A part of what I realized was that as I have grown to feel safer and more secure in my own life, as I have embodied myself more fully, I have been able to create a strong foundation of self-trust and confidence that in turn has created an ability to trust the process of increased vulnerability. I feel safer opening to others because for the first time in many, many years, I feel safe in my body.

That doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt when my advances for more intimacy weren’t met. It also doesn’t mean that I didn’t experience sadness when it was revealed that the dynamics of some relationships weren’t equal.

It did convey that I had to look deep within my own heart to examine what it was calling forth of me to acknowledge and honor. I entered into another layer of healing and I looked at my pain as honestly as I could to see if and where I was holding myself or others away.

But even when others didn’t meet me head on, there was an overall increase in the depth of all of my connections and the flow of energy around me, from the teller at the bank to the drivers on the road around me to my family and friendships.

Sometimes this process was messy. And sometimes it was full of grace. At times I was triggered and at others I was embraced.

But it was always truthful. It was always heartfelt. It was always me, standing before another with my heart on my sleeve.


2 Five Tips for Calming a Busy Brain (Besides Meditating)

We all know the feeling of the overactive brain and when we hit that moment of anxiety or overwhelm, it can be hard to remember our tools. Here are a few of my favorites that are easy to implement and highly effective at resetting the energy of mental chaos.

1. Stop, Drop and Breathe:

This is actually as quick and simple as it sounds. When you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, confused or ungrounded, this technique can provide a huge reset for you.

  • Stop what you are doing and sit down.
  • Feel your feet on the ground and settle into your physical frame. Notice your body without judgment; feel it and trust it as your structure and support.
  • Turn your attention to your belly and draw in a long breath. Allow your stomach to rise on the in-breath and fall on the out-breath. Repeat this about 5 times (or as much as feels good).
  • This is a great way to start a meditation if that is already in your practice, but it most definitely stands on its own as well.

2. Energy Dump & Refill:

A busy brain creates a lot of chaotic energy in your upper chakras, which in turn can manifest as anxiety and overwhelm. Grounding and cleansing is a great way to shift this imbalance.

If you have access to grass and a little time, go to it. (If you don’t, find some!) Lie on your back on the earth and settle into your body as in the tip above. Shift your breathing to your belly and take a long and full breath from it. Next, imagine that all of your cares, worries, fears and any energy that you are holding onto that doesn’t belong to you is flowing off of your body and into the earth to be transmuted.

You may find it useful to do a full body scan and to feel the energy flow out of each region of your body.

When you feel that you have released all that is heavy, frenetic and/or no longer serving you, set the intention to receive from the earth. In our busy world, we often forget to receive from others and it is vital that we refill as much if not more than we give. Feel the energy from Gaia flow up and into your body. Thank her and yourself for this opportunity to nourish and replenish.

If you have a grass allergy or find it uncomfortable to lie in it, this works standing or you could do the activity leaning against a tree. In both cases, release through your feet.


3. Take a Real Time Out:

The busier the schedule and the more activities you have stacked up in your day, the more you can benefit from stepping out of your active life and into something that requires you to be in a receptive state. This could be an energy healing session, a massage, a manicure or a facial. The point is that you are in a still position and receiving love and nourishment from another. You and your body deserve it!

4. Smell Your Way to Clarity & Calm*:

Lavender is my personal favorite essential oil and when my mind won’t slow down, it’s the first thing I turn to. It’s also great in conjunction with any of the activities above. It supports relaxation, so be careful with daytime use. If my mind is racing before sleep, I put a little of it on my pillow. I’ll fall asleep in no time!

Product shots fro new catalog at YL farm in Mona

Rosemary and Lemon promote clarity and focus and if I need to get some work done, I will diffuse these two together. This combination is uplifting and grounding at the same time. These combined with an energy shake off (see below) can create a great shift.

5. Shake it Off:

This advice from my childhood soccer coaches really works. Stomp your feet, shake your arms, move your torso and your head. Feel the excess energy releasing. Dancing is a great way to get the same result. Both activities release excess while bringing you back into your body.

If you’re really clearing some energetic muck, spray or burn some Sage afterwards to help transmute it.

If you have any tips that you use, I’d love to hear about them in the comments section. Thank you!

* I use and recommend Young Living oils for their purity and high quality. If you use another brand, be sure that it is chemical free and that the company takes pride in its product. Lavender oil found in the grocery stores is often made from Lavandin, which has a completely different composition and may not promote calming at all!



Why Be Embodied?

From the time we are come into this world, we are shown how to mistrust our emotions and our experience of our bodies and the environment in which we find them. We are shushed and told not to cry, told to hide our emotions, taught to present a façade to the world that is not an accurate expression of what we are truly experiencing on the inside.

Even if we’ve never experienced trauma, per se, we’ve been modeled that our bodies/emotions/feelings aren’t trustworthy and so we begin to disassociate in ways that help us to be different or more “acceptable” to others. For those of us that have known trauma, the results are often far more extreme and we may spend the majority of our time numbed out to ourselves and our lives.

If we truly want to heal, we must begin the process of embodying our vessels, of feeling all the emotions, of connecting the dots and dredging up all that we stuffed away so very long ago. While it is a difficult process, it is ultimately rewarding.

I shared on News for the Soul on the importance of embodiment; not only why we need to remember this whole-istic manifestation of ourselves, but also how we can move towards it once again.

Follow the link to hear the show!

Love and blessings!