Tag Archives for " empathy "

Superpowers Activate!

For most of my life, I knew I was sensitive.

Throughout those years, I equated sensitivity with weakness, pain, overwhelm, anxiety and confusion. I hated being sensitive, and I did my best to mask it and push it down. I did whatever I could to NOT be sensitive. I wanted to be tough, thick-skinned, able to hang with the boys.

Because of this, I denied my authentic self pretty regularly. In fact, I felt a lot of shame around who I was. I acted like I didn’t care and I put on a strong front, while inside I shrank further and further away from myself.

Feeling all the stuff around me caused me to accept blame that wasn’t mine to take on, it led me to a (very!) poor understanding of boundaries and it caused me to live in fear and confusion and to shut down and numb out.

I didn’t understand people or my environment and I had a poor ability to act in alignment with my integrity. “No” was nearly impossible to say (and even more so after being raped) because I didn’t want to “hurt” the other person and then feel responsible for their pain. I just gave in, kept the peace, all the while holding up the façade that all was well. There was as little boat rocking as possible in my seemingly fragile world.

I had a strong knowing of what all the people around me were feeling and yet they told me that they were fine. “Negative” emotions were deemed inappropriate and yet I could feel them all around me. It didn’t make any sense to me. And so I constantly thought of myself as wrong. I doubted myself, my instincts, and my ability to make sound decisions.

It was just too much. So I shut down.

I turned myself off for about 20 years. And during those two decades, I struggled with addiction, anxiety, insomnia, perfectionism, low self-esteem, overwhelm and more. I was a mess.

When I started doing healing work, shortly after my son was born, my intuitive gifts opened up again. It was like someone had ripped a Band-Aid off of me and all of a sudden, I could feel all the pain again. Every last little nerve ending was exposed. It was nearly crushing and I had no idea how to handle it.

It exacerbated problems with my health (empaths often struggle with candida, auto-immune disorders, IBS and more), it affected my relationships and it caused me to experience extreme exhaustion.

I could only do a little bit of healing work per week because I was taking on the stuff of everyone and then carrying it around with me, a little pack mule of other people’s emotions, illness and pain.

I tried cord cutting, bubbles, sage, crystals and more. They helped, but they didn’t solve the problem. My intuition was continuing to open and I still didn’t have the tools to truly help me do it safely. I was struggling and disempowered on my path.

Until I started to receive very clear messages on how to create a permanent shift in my field…information on how to get back into my body and stay there ~ truly scary stuff for an empath!

But the thing is: Once I got safely back into my body, it actually felt so good to be there that I didn’t want to leave it anymore. I could feel other people’s stuff and not take it on!

I had been given tools that created a permanent and empowering shift for me. My sensitivities had turned into superpowers! And once that happened…Wow! They opened even more.

(Note: If you have experienced trauma or have repressed emotions from childhood, I recommend working with my colleague, Elicia Miller. Core emotional healing and inner child work are essential tools as well.)

Most of my clients come to me overwhelmed and confused; I see this happening on a very large scale right now. And so I am feeling called to share these insights and teachings with others. I passionately feel that if we can understand how to go within and embody ourselves fully and strongly ~ if we can trust ourselves from this place of deep connection ~ then our empathy can become one of our greatest gifts and we can open up our intuition in a way that empowers us to be able to positively affect the lives of others. I’ve experienced it myself and seen it work in others as well.

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I have created a live, online class in which we harness the power of the group for even more connection and activation. In this course, you receive:

  • Four live hour-long group sessions
  • Two group healing/activations (live and recorded to be downloaded and kept)
  • Two downloadable meditations
  • Downloadable content
  • Access to a private Facebook group where you can share, practice with one another and receive support from me

We will cover:

  • Feeling Empowered, not Overwhelmed: How to stop feeling tired, drained, anxious, and overly-sensitive in the world
  • Trusting Your Inner Guidance: How to tune into your higher wisdom and know the difference between fear and your intuition
  • Communicating with Your Guides: How to connect and build a relationship with your spirit team
  • Tune Into Your Psychic Senses: How to identify and cultivate the psychic senses of knowing, hearing, feeling, and seeing

This class portions of this course will be held on July 7, 21 & 28 and August 4 from 4:00-5:00 EDT.

For more information about Activate Your Superpowers: Four Ways to Access Your Higher Self, Your Guides and Spirit to Make Life Easier and Have Way More Fun, click HERE.

Being sensitive doesn’t have to be hard. In fact, it can be a blessing.

Much love!

Honoring the Truth Within

I’ve been going back and forth with a decision that I need to make and every time I feel like I’ve got it made, I find myself hopping back over to the other side of the fence. The decision has to do with one aspect of my career. It’s something that I’ve been doing for a while that I enjoy, but it tends to exhaust me and it can feel a little counterproductive at times.

In part, I have trouble letting go of things. I always have. When I build a relationship with someone or something, I tend to cling to it, fearful that if I release it I will lose a part of me or miss out on something. A lot of my growth and development over the last several years has been with respect to learning the art of letting go. I’ve made some improvements, but it still challenges me, even when I know that releasing the person, place or thing is past due.

As this is happening in my life, I (of course!) have a client that is going through something similar. In fact, I see this with a lot of my clients, many of whom are highly empathic. (My sense is that it is even harder for empaths to let go of things; it can feel almost like something is being torn away from us.) Because of this, some time ago, my team shared with me a very simple technique for discerning when something is in alignment with us or not. I’m going to share a simplified yet still effective version of this here with you:

Get quiet and follow your breathing. Take slow breaths in, allowing your belly to rise and then fall as you exhale. Feel yourself drop into your body. When you feel yourself in your body (versus in your head), you can establish a baseline. So I might say, “I am a girl” or “I love dark chocolate” for my feel-good/true statement, and “I am a boy” or “I love olives” (yuck) for my negative one. Choose a few for yourself and notice how each of those feels in your body. Everyone will sense the answer differently and your baseline may even change according to what’s going on with you.

Next, ask yourself the question that you are pondering and see how it feels to you. You may want to ask it both ways to get a full picture of the situation. If you’re curious about leaving a job for another, you might sense into staying at your current job. Notice how your body responds to this. Do you feel constricted or open? How is your heart, your gut? What’s your posture like? You may want to do a scan to get a comprehensive understanding. Then follow up with feeling yourself in the new job and repeat the same steps as above.

Try not to feel discouraged if it takes a time or two. Some people resonate immediately with this and others benefit from a few tries to get it. Most of us spend a lot of time outside of our bodies and so establishing this type of relationship may be initially challenging (though ultimately rewarding). Know that the body never lies! Our minds will tell us stories, but the body always reveals the truth.

Let me know how it works for you! And yes, I did get my answer: Let it go; it’s time to move on. I shall be doing just that.

Telling the Heart

“I’ve become so intimate with fear/I am now the presence that exists at the end of it.”

— Meggan Watterson

Fear was like this three-headed monster that hung over me for most of my life. When I look back at my youth and my early (and even into mid-) adulthood, most of the memories that I do have (I’m missing many) feel heavy. As an empath, I felt everything and I had no language to understand it. I didn’t know that it was Mary’s anger, or the cashier’s pain, or my friend’s frustration that I was feeling, I just knew that I was feeling crushed by a need to take care of everyone and an overwhelming fear that I would never be able to do so and that I would somehow be hurt in the process.

The fear grew and grew until it encompassed just about every area of my life. I was a straight-A student afraid of failing, an all-star athlete afraid of not making a goal or hitting a handspring on the vault. When I discovered alcohol and drugs in high school, the pressure finally felt relieved. I felt like I could say, “Fuck it!” without caring as much what that really meant. I began hiding behind a wall while simultaneously building it higher and higher. I still performed well, but even that just became bricks and mortar for the sealing of my self-imposed limitations.

I was terrified of putting myself out into the world in a real way, of being vulnerable, of feeling more than I already felt. I was so, so scared to feel. It was too much and the thought of failing in anything that was a true expression of who I was felt too scary to even attempt. I stayed small, safe, hidden. I deflected, projected, and pushed.

I had many mini-turning points towards becoming courageous, beginning with sobriety. Committing to not drinking or drugging on a day-to-day basis was huge and it gave me a glimpse of a different possibility, one in which I could actually be awake in my own life. Lots of energy healing helped me to start peeling away the layers of self-deprecation that I had layered on over the years and gave me a glimpse of my potential. It also helped me to shift patterns around past trauma that were contributing to my fear.

After a workshop with Jennifer Pastiloff, I decided to do one thing every day that scared me regardless of whether that one thing was to open a piece of mail, accept a phone call, or tell someone I loved them. Every time I felt scared, I asked myself if I could do it anyway, despite the fear. Almost always the answer was yes. Sometimes I had to put a thing or two on a back burner and do something a little less frightening that day instead. And eventually – though honestly it was relatively very quickly – things just didn’t have the same hold over me anymore. What happened was that I built a faith muscle that showed me over and over again that no matter what came to pass, I was okay.

This shift in perception allowed me to move fully onto my path as a healer and coach, and it was what now allows me to help others to do the same. I have had to say “yes” over and over again. Sometimes it is still hard. Sometimes I need a friend or a colleague to see the fear in my eyes and remind me that I am ready and that I can do it before I can jump. And sometimes I take things really slowly because it just feels better to do so.

Originally, the meaning of the word courage was, “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” I love this. When I tell my heart, I feel good despite the fear that may have been there. And when I tell my heart by expressing the most authentic me that I can out in the world, my heart expands and fills with even more love that can be shared.

Finding our path and shifting onto it is an act of courage and perseverance. It asks us to open ourselves up fully and completely in a way that allows us to express our gifts in the world without fear of judgment or failure. It demands that we be vulnerable and trust.

I have found my edge. My comfort zone has space for discomfort now and is ever-widening. I am myself on the other side of fear – not without it, but not within it either. It no longer defines me and it no longer tells me what I can or cannot do. It has become a guidepost and when it pops up, I know that I have to step up. It’s not always easy, but it is always rewarding.