Tag Archives for " inner child "

The Alchemy of Shift

What do you get when you connect seven courageous women, two loving and compassionate facilitators/healers, a nurturing and supportive healing space and Costa Rica? Pura Vida transformation!

“Elicia, Janet, (Doug and the Vida Asana team) gently held us in a structured, supportive healing space in a Costa Rica paradise. We clarified our hopes with personal intentions, fed our bodies nourishing food, bonded by witnessing each other’s vulnerability and shared courage through tears, laughter, yoga and cathartic meditation and rituals.

 Elicia’s wise, earthy calm and Janet’s spiritual insights create a generous, focused, harmonious coaching partnership. ‘Your symptoms are a gift’ resonated in truth as we unpicked avoidance habits and messages in our suppressed feelings.

Their confidence in the alchemy of listening to, processing, honoring and respecting the un-met needs of our inner children and nurturing their responsible (and angry) expression worked quickly for our collective good. 

I won’t say it was easy to explore hurts and give painful feelings a voice, but it was worth the journey. I have come away with awareness, a new mantra, tools, faith in myself to heal and beautiful, life-long supportive friends. ~ Anna

There is true magic in a connection forged through honest and intimate transference of emotions and experience, the kind that occurs when defenses are dropped and hearts are raised…an intimate camaraderie of sorts that activates our highest potential and allows for individual and shared catharsis.

Reaching down and into the core of our being to reveal that which we thought too painful to face and having it met with compassion and love by others is healing in itself. Beyond that, we are able to see the many ways in which we are the same, the manner in which the very fabric of our lives intersects and intertwines from experiencing similar pain, even when reached through different avenues.

This work with Elicia Miller has become a true love ~ one that transforms me right along with everyone else.  It elevates and inspires and I can’t wait to do it again (September!!!).

“I’ve been lucky enough to do quite a bit of inner personal work on myself in my life. I have to say that this retreat was the catalyst for some of deepest healing I’ve been able to do yet. Janet and Elicia provided such a safe space and environment that I felt safe to work on some very uncomfortable issues that have been wanting my attention for years.  I feel alive and peaceful in a new way and I credit it to the retreat: the material, the environment, the group synergy and Janet and Elicia’s facilitating skills. I’m a new woman.”  ~ Natha

“My week at the retreat was more than I ever could of imagined. I have been in talk therapy on and off for 15 years and honestly accomplished more and saw my “stuff” more clearly in just seven days. The power of the retreat is in the gentle guidance of Elicia and Janet, the power of a group of strong women also searching for self empowerment and the beauty of Costa Rica. I am truly grateful for such a life changing experience.” ~ Kelly


“This week was transformational and inspiring. Not only did I feel the shift in my own being, but I could sense it in each woman there. I cannot thank you all enough for what I gained through this experience. ” ~ Amy

 “An inspiring and life changing experience…” ~ Marva

To learn more about our retreat, click HERE.

CONTACT ME if you are interested in possibly attending our September 2016 retreat!


Trigger Happy

Triggers are up right now. In many ways, ‘tis the season. The truth of the matter though is that triggers happen all the time. Sometimes we know we’re being triggered, but a lot of the time we don’t.

There are times too that we off-handedly mention being triggered, but we gloss over it or sweep it into the corner.

But when we lightly dismiss them or toss them aside, they don’t actually go away. They may hide out for a while, gently nudging us here and there, but then when we still aren’t paying attention to them – WHAM!

The trigger is back and this time it’s screaming even louder. It might even come back in the form of an illness or an accident so that it can really make us stop and listen.


Photo courtesy of Anna Gay, www.annagay.com

At some point, we may even begin to feel like we’re losing control of our emotions or our lives.

We may hop in and out of relationships, basking in the glow of the honeymoon period and then high-tailing it when we things get real and the triggers start to pop again.

We wonder why intimacy is eluding us and why we are unhappy in our jobs…Why we are eating too much, drinking too much…Why we just can’t seem to pull it together…

FACT: Triggers will never just go away or disappear.

They may lay low for a while but then they will just get louder and stronger and more frequent until we actually stop and tend to them. Until we acknowledge and listen to them.

Triggers are our inner child’s way of letting us know that something isn’t right, that there is something within us that wants some attention…something that wants to go from a state of repressed imbalance to one of expressed balance.

You know how a baby cries or a toddler throws a tantrum when there is something happening that he doesn’t understand and he needs our attention to help him figure it out?

A trigger is an adult’s temper tantrum. But if we commit to paying attention, it doesn’t have to be. You see…

A trigger can actually be a gift.

It is our inner child saying, “I need you to look at me. I need you to pay attention to me. I have something to tell you.” Really, it most wants to be held.

Triggers tend to occur in moments unrelated to the actual event that “created” them, and so it seems easy to isolate or ignore them.

But if we ever want to be really free, truly able to manage and express our emotions in a healthy manner, we have to pay attention to our triggers.

We have to explore and honor them. We have to ultimately nurture them back into health.

Our inner child wants to know that we are listening and providing for her. She wants to know that she is safe.

A trigger is a beautiful indication that there is something within us that wants to be known. Moving through one is a blessing – an empowering and inspiring way of living that allows for growth and authentic self-expression.

Join me and Elicia Miller for our upcoming course: Emotional Healing & Your Inner Intuitive to learn from your triggers and heal the wounds and patterns causing them, as well as how to care for your energy body, honor your inner child, deepen your intuition and more! We will support and guide you through this beautiful and liberating process over the course of four weeks in Atlanta. Watch our video describing this powerful work, and for more details about our course HERE.

Stay tuned for more retreats and an online course as well!

An Inner Landscape of Peace

I used to be a very angry person. I had locked down my emotions for years and years and the majority of them were simmering beneath the surface. They leaked out all over the place ~ in traffic, at my partners, when I dropped something at work. They were omni-present even though I’d spent decades repressing and trying to ignore them.

Most of my friends wouldn’t have considered me an angry person and yet I found myself complaining a lot, looking for ways to judge others, or getting mad when I felt victimized by fate. The anger I expressed daily was a sideways response to the way that I felt that the world around me affected me. My frustration, resentment, jealousy and lack of compassion kept me operating from the space of a wounded child and showed up in the way I perceived the world at large ~ a hostile place that didn’t hold my or others’ best interests at heart. I saw violence and war within and all around me and I responded with anger and fear.

The worst manifestation of this inner violence was against myself. The constant diatribe of self-criticism and judgment kept me in a state of insecurity and mistrust. I didn’t have faith in myself, so feeling trustful of the world was completely beyond my ability to comprehend. I tuned into violence and projected it back outwards in an attempt to validate the hatred I had towards myself. This type of violence was insidious in that it was disguised as self-righteousness.

The truth is that I did have a lot to be angry about. In my experience, most of us do. We have all lived through stuff that is really, really hard (sometimes nearly impossible). And all the while, we’ve been taught to not express it, to hold it in, to: “Shhh…Stop crying (yelling, screaming); everything is going to be okay. Just be strong.”

This is a societal message, one that is fed to us all from hundreds of different outlets. And when we hold it in, silence our yells, or choke down our sobs, we really just bury it; it doesn’t go away. It festers. It simmers. It swallows us whole at times.

It creates in internal landscape of mistrust. It teaches us that it’s not safe to be us or to express ourselves honestly. It cuts us off from having authentic communication with others and it inhibits our peace-making and keeping skills.

I still struggle with repressed anger and sadness at times. I’ve spent years digging deeply into my being to uncover the anger and pain that my inner child/teenager suppressed and I have made great progress. My inner critic is much quieter now. But she still shows up at times and she tries to disguise herself beneath “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts.”

Cultivating inner peace is a daily practice. For me, it requires meditation, awareness and compassion. It asks that I be vigilant with my thoughts and actions and that I backtrack and cancel the critic within by rewiring and reinforcing healthy behaviors. It asks that I apologize when I act out and it requires that I communicate when having trouble with others (something that still requires a lot of courage and strength for me ~ it does not come easily to me).

When I feel my wounded child rearing her head, I have to stop and tend to her. I have to uncover why she feels unsafe or angry in a situation. I have to release the emotion and then nurture her back into a safe place. (Elicia Miller does amazing inner child work! Our work complements each other really well and we are offering a complimentary talk in Atlanta this Tuesday, November 17 to share what we do together.)

As I cultivate peace within me it manifests as peace outside of me. Will this solve the crises in the world tomorrow? Not likely. But if each of us were to take one more step each day to cultivate peace within, could it eventually? I’d like to think so. What I do know is that thousands of years of warring hasn’t solved violence and that the only thing that stops a war is a peace accord. What if we all chose a peace agreement for ourselves? What if we all committed to expressing one more kind and compassionate action towards ourselves each day? It certainly wouldn’t hurt anything and it just might feel good. I know it has for me and that my life improves every day that I work to treat myself with more love and respect.